I’m not sure what the stats are on men vs. women when it comes to sending first messages on dating sites, but I know that men do send out way more than women. And when you guys get no reply, it can be frustrating because you feel rejected.
There are some ways to up your reply rate, and they are based in common sense. I’ve learned a lot by observing my own interest or disinterest after reading a message, and through countless conversations with friends who have years of online-dating experience.
How to Get more Replies from Women
Read her entire profile. It’s tempting to send a “What’s up, beautiful?” message as soon as you see a pretty face while browsing profiles at three in the morning, but you must employ impulse control. Check out all her photos, read her profile for red flags and to see that you are both looking for the same kind of relationship, casual or otherwise. This saves you and her both time.
Write her a thoughtful message. You need more than a “Hey, how’s it going?” to grab her attention. Comment on her interests or anything you find unique to her. Even if you only want a hookup, she still needs to be treated with respect. Also, a little humor also goes a long way.
Start a dialogue. If you just send a message that makes a statement—how hot she is, that you also like to travel—you will hit a dead end. Always wrap up your message (a couple short paragraphs at most) with a question as she will feel more compelled to write you back, with the answer.
Drop a few lines in the dating pool. We’ve all made the mistake of putting all our hopes into one person we find online to be oh so interesting. And then we wait… and wait… and nothing. Online dating rejection will hurt a lot less when you’re not putting all your eggs in one basket. Just don’t send form letters out.
Have an enticing dating profile yourself. Almost every woman will comb through your profile before replying, no matter how good your first message is. Trans women want to feel safe, so she’ll be looking for as much information as she can before she makes her decision to reply. Put the effort into a well-written dating profile with a variety of pics that make you shine.
When you don’t get a reply, it’s important to let that go and not take it personally. I’ve received angry follow-ups from men that only confirm my instincts. You don’t want to be that guy.