Most of us hate to admit it, but we all know – online dating is a window shopping experience. And since we’re exposed and on display to thousands of eyes that will be scanning our image – we want to stand out and get picked. Probably the single most important rule to your online profile: put up a proper picture of yourself. This is especially important for t-girls who are still transitioning – keep your photos up to date as you go through your changes.
We all have insecurities about how we look – yes, even the shirtless dude who only reveals his bare chest and 6-pack abs – but you must, must, must show YOU as who you really are.
A photo that actually looks like you is your ticket to finding the love (or fuck) of your life. As soon as you post a photo of the 10-Year Younger You, The Thinner You, The Doe-Eyed You; you have just misrepresented yourself and told a lie. This is not the right way to start off your first date.
I’ve been told countless stories from online daters who have met a potential mate for the first time, only to discover how different this person looked from their dating profile. It’s not just a fun story to tell, but it actually upsets people and wastes everyone’s time. You post a photo of “you”, “you” catch someone’s eye, they base their interest in “you” from that photo and ask “you” out. This is the “you” they think they’re meeting. You just sold them duck l’orange, and they’re about to get heat-lamp chicken and fries.
Although it makes others angry, I am more saddened by this. I have a dear friend who has fallen into the realm of “No one wants me – it’s just a fact.” She’s been online dating for years and is constantly amazed nothing ever happens after the first date.
About a year and a half ago, this friend and I decided to check out each other’s online profile to give feedback. I was shocked. Her images were great, but they looked absolutely nothing like her. I didn’t realize how sensitive she was about it until I told her what I thought. She shot me down immediately, “I’m fine with them.” And that was that.
My friend’s dating photos are of what her ideal self is. However, this is stopping her from finding love. Thing is, she’s attractive, smart, and fun. But her idealized image of herself is attracting men who don’t see the real her. And the real her is amazing; she just thinks no man will ever think so at first glance.
You may not love the way you look, but someone else definitely will. The moment you misrepresent yourself in your online profile – picture or otherwise, you set yourself up for failure. My poor friend doesn’t understand why she clicks with men before they meet; then when they see her, their chemistry instantly falls away.
I can definitely relate. There was a man I had been talking to online for a few days before meeting, and we had become quite excited. But when we finally met, my date’s smiling face dropped. I didn’t even realize my photos didn’t really look like me – but I certainly knew it at that moment.
That night, I changed my photos. Now, men’s eyes light up when we first meet, and I get asked out again!
If you’re not sure which photos to post, ask a friend you trust and get their opinion. I guarantee, the more realistic the photo, the better the results. Start your date off right and showcase the correct photos of You.
How do you choose your online dating profile pics!
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