How to Survive an Awkward First Date

First dates with women you’ve met online are a little awkward… sending that first message to a complete stranger, starting a dialogue, planning a date (if you get that far!), and the anxiety of wondering how it will go. Going in to a date with no expectations can only lead to a positive outcome, either you’ll be pleasantly surprised when it goes well, or you’ll walk away with more dating experience for the next time.

When you meet a first date, it won’t take long to feel if there’s chemistry. And if you don’t feel a spark, you may think what’s the point of sticking around. Plenty, I’d say. It takes a long time to get to know anyone, and attraction really can build by taking the time to get to know someone in depth. You wouldn’t be on a first date, if there wasn’t something that attracted you to this woman in the first place. Also, you may have developed a bit of a fantasy about the potential relationship (this is normal in online dating, often when you’ve had an extended get-to-know-you phase only over the internet.)

Awkward First Date Tips

Not every first date is going to be the fireworks you hope and imagine it to be. Take a breath and take the time to see who this woman really is. Ask questions and really listen to her responses.

Eye Contact
If you’re feeling disconnected, make a conscious effort to make eye contact. You’ll really notice a difference in the way you bond with someone when you make this small adjustment.

Be Open
Even if you never see this date again, there’s always something to take away from every interaction, whether it’s a lesson learned for your next dating adventure, or just something an individual can teach you from their own experience. Maybe there’s a possibility of friendship.

It’s okay to express your feelings to a first date. Of course don’t just sit down and say, “I don’t think this is going anywhere.” But by the end of the date, if you’re sure you don’t want to see her again, it’s best to tell her now, instead of the, “I’ll call you” but never do line.

Unless your date was abusive and rude (in which case you can get up and leave at anytime with my blessing), it’s always best to end things tactfully and truthfully. If you’re dating in the trans community, remember it’s small, and the last thing you want is a crappy reputation amongst the t-girls you’re so into.

By chance, if you’ve ended a date with a woman you see no future with (romantic, friendly, or otherwise) it’s possible she may feel differently and continue to seek you out. In these cases, a little white lie is acceptable. My go-to is mentioning an ex that I’ve realized I’m not over. This seems to get rid of any hangers-on.

Read: Do’s and Don’ts of Dating Transexual Women

How do you get through an awkward date? Any tips are welcome.


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