Online dating may be your best bet at meeting and dating a trans woman, but that doesn’t mean there won’t be complications.
If you’ve been using online dating for years like myself, you’ll know (and accept to some degree) that people are not always a hundred percent honest on their profiles. I try to be as truthful as possible, but I’ve made mistakes. For a time I said I was looking for casual relationships, but I was really in search of something more serious (to be fair, the only person I was lying to was myself.)
A big problem is people’s choice of profile pics. Of course we want to present our best self, but how many times have you met someone and thought, woah, that doesn’t look like the woman I’ve been messaging back and forth with for the last two weeks!
Here’s some insight into why she might not look like her pictures, as well as tips on what to look for when scrolling through a lady’s profile pics.
She’s using old photos. I have a rule when it comes to choosing profile pics: post nothing older than three years. Of course, you probably looked better six years ago, but all you’re setting yourself up for is disappointment. Play it real, girls!
She’s gained weight. Another online dating faux pas is to use pictures when you were much slimmer. Just like using old pics, it’s not genuine to misrepresent yourself in this way. Lots of men are looking for women with a little extra, so don’t worry.
She used professional photos. Maybe she’s got a friend who’s a pro photographer, or she’s paid to get glam shots because she’s worried about “passing.” Look for women who are comfortable with where they are, whether au natural or their dolled-up selves.
She chose pics that don’t really look like her. This may sound weird, but we all have those photos that look amazing, but they just don’t look like the real us. I tried using one of these, until my bestie pointed out the problem. Even though it might be a great photo, if it doesn’t look like you, it’s not worth the look on someone’s face when they first meet you.
She didn’t post any body shots. I had one date refer to this as the “iceberg effect.” It describes someone who has only posted above-the-shoulder pics, and then you meet them, and you realize why—they are grossly overweight. Look for a variety of pics that show all of her.
She’s transitioning. If she’s in the process of transitioning, using hormones or post-surgery, she may be uncomfortable using pics during this time. Show some compassion and understanding about where she is on her journey, before you make any rash decisions or judgments.
Think about the pics you have chosen for your online dating profile. Do they best represent you?
Do you have a story about meeting someone whose appearance was unexpected? Please share in the comments!