Online Dating Photos: Please Refresh

A Picture’s Worth 1000 Dates

Recently I wrote about representing yourself properly with pictures of You (post the most representative photos of you without idealizing yourself by what you think you look like or what you want to look like) for your online dating profile. This week, I’ll mention that change is always best. I’ve been online dating off and on for 13 years, and from then until now there has been an incredible amount of change in they way people relate to one another online, due to the volume and availability of people. From the broad strokes of Plenty of Fish (POF) to the more defined sites like I Love TS, the best way to keep your profile on the top of the eye-catching lists of dating site members is to: Change. Your. Profile. Photos.

If you’ve felt like it never mattered before, think again. Put yourself in the shoes of the window shopper (or eye of the beholder). You see the same person over and over and over and over again – it’s like wearing the same clothes over and over. If you get sick of them, why wouldn’t the window shopper?

When you use the same photo, the picture remains static. No movement. And no movement = no excitement. And no excitement = no dates. People want to be swept off their feet, and access to the ongoing tales of your life is just the thing to attract them. A picture that you posted two months ago may not interest that special person; a slight change in mood, tone, or small facial feature may.

People want to be excited by a potential mate (and even after hooking up regularly). I remember the day my long-term partner said he LOVED seeing me in new clothes or a change in hairstyle – and this was even after knowing I could do no wrong, that he would be in love with me even if I wore a potato sack every day. On another occasion, my short five-month boyfriend always noted when I had new clothing or slight change in makeup (and I don’t wear much), and his note always manifested in the form of huge flirtation.

On MY side of things, as an online dater, if I see the same picture of the same person after 9, 6, even 3 months, I say to myself “Oh, that guy again.” I’m not impressed – and I’m aware of my internal thoughts and am pretty forgiving!

So, do yourselves a favor and update your online dating photos. You’ll be seen as a more active, exciting, and desirable individual.

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