Online Dating: Communicating before You Meet

If you’re new to online dating, strap yourself in for what usually starts as a bumpy ride. Maybe it’s just me, but it takes some time to get the hang of online communication with people you’ve never met, people you only know what they’ve revealed in their online dating profile. If you’re naturally gregarious and flirtatious you will have an easier time of things, but if you lean towards shy and awkward on the social spectrum, then these tips may help you when trying to get a first date with someone you like on a dating site.

So, let’s assume you’ve joined a dating site, maybe, and you’ve browsed through many profiles until aha! you see an enchantress you want to contact. First and foremost, have a well-written profile of your own before you send any woman a message. Some women will want very little communication before meeting, as a way to avoid unnecessary expectations. Others, like myself, prefer to have a little back-and-forth to get an idea of a person. So many things can be gleaned from online messages that help save myself (and others) time.

Tips for Communicating with Women on Dating Sites

Read her profile. All of her profile! And use the details to refer to when talking to a woman of interest. Mention her love of penguins or her penchant for travelling in South America. This attention to detail lets her know you are interested in HER, not just any woman.

Keep it sex-lite. A first message that mentions sex or anything physical usually goes straight to the trash for most women. Even if she states in her profile that she is interested in casual sex, you still need to woo a woman. Keep it classy until you meet her in person, unless she goes there first… then follow carefully.

Send photos. These are perfect for the shy guy. You still have to use the written word to entice a lady, but these are a great way to make a woman smile. These pics could be of you and your pet, or maybe a beautiful landscape shot of where you are. 

Write confidently. We all have insecurities when it comes to dating, especially online. It’s best to keep these to yourself until you’ve met. On a first date, it’s fine to say you were nervous to meet her, as this can be endearing because it’s honest.

Respond quickly. Once a woman has responded to your first message, besides jumping for joy, respond as soon as possible. The same day is fine, as it’s better to send a thoughtful response, than something quick and inconsequential on your lunch break.

Keep the conversation going. When a woman responds to your first message, make sure to follow up with a comment or question that encourages a response. If you don’t do this, things are likely to be stopped in their tracks, and she will see you as uninterested.

Use your wit. Sense of humor is at the top of most women’s wish lists. Of course, it’s easier to be funny in person, but if you can make her lol, you’re well on your way to a first date.

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