Sending a First Message to a Trans Woman

If you remember that trans women are like all women –  in how they like to be approached, treated, and asked out – you’ll have a much easier time when it comes to making first contact. It’s difficult to meet trans women in day-to-day life and that’s why so many ts dating sites are cropping up that are dedicated to trans women and their admirers.

If you’re past the point of being a voyeur and are ready to send that all-important first email, you’ll want a few tips. A lovely trans lady’s photo might grab you instantly, but it’s important to read (really read) her profile before reaching out.

Hopefully, you’ve found some thing in common (interest, what you’re looking for) which promotes compatibility. Your first message should be thoughtful, it’s a first impression through words only and will make the difference of whether she bothers to look at your profile. And I’m assuming you’ve got a great profile to back things up when she does respond. If you spend a few days rewriting your message, so be it.

Be friendly without getting overly romantic and mention something that will show her that you’ve clearly read through her profile (e.g., mention a book you’ve both read and why you liked it). Asking a question is another good way to encourage a response. But don’t blow your wad in one go… the idea is to pique her interest, get a little back-and-forth going, and see if there’s any chemistry.

You don’t want to put all your apples in one basket, it’s okay to message several women at once because if you’re an experienced online dater like myself, you’ll know the ratio of messages to replies can be quite large at times.

Transgender women are used to getting attention based primarily on their sexuality – don’t be that guy, but do understand the struggle and use correct terminology.

One more thing, every message should be unique to a particular girl. I’ve had men send me cut-and-paste (I knew because friends received the same) first messages. Sure it might have been well written, but it wasn’t sincere – absolute turn off!

And when you do land a first date, check out: Do’s and Don’ts of Dating Transexual Women

Any tips you can add for first message success?

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