It can be hard to interpret the signals from someone we’re dating. Sometimes we send mixed messages to each other.
If you suspect she’s just not that into you, look for these telltale signs.
1. She Doesn’t Return Your Calls or Texts
When we have strong feelings for someone or are blinded by sexual attraction, it can be hard to see the obvious.
Here’s the hard, cold truth: if she never calls you back, she’s not interested. If she never calls or texts of her own volition, she’s not that into you.
This said, here’s something to consider: when we’re hot and bothered we are in a rush for confirmation. It IS reasonable for people who don’t know each other well and owe each other nothing to take some time to respond. It would be scary if she stopped working, attending to family duties, or other activities to respond pronto to every cute guy she meets online. There’s a happy medium. Assess it realistically.
2. She’s Not Touchy Feely with You
If it feels like she’s just going through the motions, she probably is.
A woman who is into you will respond naturally to your touch. She’ll want to soak it up. She’ll take your cues to sit closer.
A transgender woman can be reluctant because of negative experiences with men who objectify her, or are confused. So this one can also be tricky to assess. You really have to look at it objectively. If she’s snuggly with you or squeezes your hand or kisses back without feeling far away, she’s probably fully present. Learn to read a woman’s body language.
If she’s always pulling back, or chooses to sit far away when there’s reason to get close, she’s probably not interested.
3. She Doesn’t Say Much
Once again, this one can be conflicting because it’s partly dependent on context and on her nature and personality.
Some women are more chatty than others. But as a rule, when a woman likes you, she wants to share things about her day and life and thoughts with you. She asks for your feedback on things, and responds to the things you tell her, too.
If she consistently gives one word answers like “fine” or “not much” you can probably assume she doesn’t have much to say to you. If she is super chatty with her girlfriends or other people, but you can’t draw anything out of her, it’s a sign to move on. Dating rejection is part of online dating.
4. She Keeps Putting You Off
A woman who wants to see you will make time to do so, or she’ll want to cement plans with you.
Yes, it’s unrealistic to expect her to drop everything for a man she just met, so the fact that she has plans with her friends or family and goes to the gym and works is important to acknowledge. But if she always says, “soon” or “I’m not sure, let me get back to you,” it’s probably best to let it go.
If you really can’t tell whether she’s just super busy, or trying not to pounce too quickly on a new date, it doesn’t hurt to ask outright. “I sense that you have a lot on your schedule right now and that maybe our chemistry isn’t right for you. Am I reading this right? If so, I don’t want to waste your time. If I’m mistaken, I would like to see you again.”
Something like this is diplomatic and helps both of you be more straightforward with your true feelings.