Rejection is part and parcel of dating, as most of the people we dates do not result in a life-long relationships. Accepting that fact will go a long way towards softening the blow of the breakups we will face in the future. That said, rejection can be difficult, and without the proper attitude can feel worse for those who are transgender if they read the breakup as an indictment of themselves, rather than accepting the reason the long-term prospect just wasn’t there.
Complications and self-worth issues that society places on those who are transgender and those who date the transgendered add a layer of outside pressure that some find difficult to navigate. If the man in the relationship is uncomfortable or is conflicted about having a long-term relationship with a transexual woman, the relationship is doomed almost the moment it begins, leading to the maddeningly contradictory situation where he feels that he is forced to break up with his lady because he so in love with her, and he fears what this says about him. If you’re a T-girl, make sure that the man you are starting to seriously date is ready to allow the relationship to take its natural course. There’s nothing worse than a man breaking up with you because he’s in love with you. If you’re a man looking to date a trans woman, ask yourself if you’re prepared to fall in love, and if so, are you emotionally prepared to make the commitment.
Over the course of dating, there are many reasons you decide that the person you’re with is not “the one”. If you’ve both reached this conclusion but enjoy each other’s company, you can still be friends or even fuck buddies, but open honest communication is key. You may have sexual chemistry with someone but know they are not the person you see yourself building a life with. If you reveal that you don’t want to date any longer but still want to be friends, or still want to have sex, you must be honest and considerate of her feelings and be on the lookout for signs that you might be causing hurt. If you know that your lover is madly in love with you, a friends with benefits is not a good idea.
In every situation it is best to be open and honest, but in the real world, it is in the non-communication that rejection is often sent. If you’re in the early stages of a relationship and your partner stops returning your calls and texts, rather than pushing for communication, accept that they are done and move on. Forcing the issue to receive an official dumping isn’t going to help anything, and will likely only make you feel worse.
Finding that special someone usually involves sorting through many people, and often there are biological processes that we aren’t even aware of that govern whether we click with an individual. Pushing for a reason “Why?” is only asking for hurt, no one wants to hear that they could lose a few pounds or some other made up reason. If someone is breaking up with you for a concrete reason, like you’re a cheater or a jerk, they will surely let you know. But in the majority of cases it’s for reasons either nebulous or unchangeable – accept the breakup with grace and move on.
If people are constantly breaking up with you after a single date, start soliciting their feedback. If you’re using photos on your dating profile that are over ten years old or come across as a player, these are things you can change to make future dating more productive.
While rejection can be painful, remember: a relationship that falls apart sooner is much less damaging than later and may offer a learning opportunity. So while it might be difficult in the short term, consider it training for the relationship you’ll have with the love of your life!
Any tips you can offer for handling rejection? Leave a comment below.
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