Online dating is a the better way to meet people, especially if you’re interested in trans women. But, that’s not to say it’s easy. It takes effort to create a dating profile that will stand out, and you do need to craft a first message that will elicit a response.
In my five years of online dating, I would say that for every hundred messages, I respond to maybe one or two. It’s a tiny percentage! And I don’t consider myself picky, it’s just the messages are mostly awful. For me, a lot of these turn offs are too creepy, too sexually overt, or too arrogant.
There are plenty of other reasons a message might turn a trans woman off, but let’s stick to how to write one that will get her attention.
First Messages that Trans Woman will Appreciate
1. Write specific. Word to the wise: read a woman’s entire profile before you write to her. It only takes a few minutes, and you will glean all the information you need to find out if you might be compatible for the type of relationship you are seeking. Touch on something about her that turned you on (not a physical feature, please.)
2. Be curious. If you are truly interested, you will be curious to learn more about her. Share in the message what piqued your curiosity. Asking questions is very important during the dating process, and it’s an easy way to spark a dialogue.
3. Share common ground. No one wants to date someone exactly like themselves, but shared interests are a good basis for any type of relationship. If you see something that you have in common—you both love travelling, play the same sport, or both own labradoodles—let her know.
4. Highlight creativity. Women love creative men. And there are many ways this might play out in your life—painting, music, photography, cooking, landscaping. If you don’t consider yourself to be artistic, throw out a few creative date ideas that show your imagination.
5. Be flirtatious. This may be tricky for those of you who are new to online dating, because you don’t know where an individual woman’s line is when it comes to flirty vs. sexual. Be cautious, but don’t be afraid to show your playful side.
Let us know how your online dating experiences are going.