What Trans Women Want to Know Before They Meet You

Meeting women online for casual connections and more meaningful relationships has its challenges, but it allows you to take your time in browsing profiles and messaging, as well as deciding when and where you’d like to meet in person.

Most women want to get to know someone a little before they actually meet, either through messaging, texting, or phone calls. I used to wait a few weeks from initial contact to a first date, but now I don’t like to go more than one week because my expectations build too much.

There are other things that determine how long it takes for a woman to feel she’s ready to meet a guy she’s only talked to on a dating site.

Before she meets, she wants to know that…

You admire her, not fetishize her. It’s one thing to have a trans attraction, to admire these women for their strength and beauty, but quite another to see them as “chicks with dicks” and expect them to act out as some trans porn fantasy.

You have no expectations. This is just a good rule of thumb to have when it comes to online dating. It’s okay to feel hopeful and positive and convey these when you talk beforehand, but don’t build something up in your head that is sure to fall flat no matter who you meet.

You are who your profile says you are. There’s no point in being disingenuous in your dating profile, whether it be in your pictures or description, or in the kind of relationship you are looking for—it all comes out in the wash. And yes, this works both ways!

She is safe and comfortable. Some trans women will like to talk on the phone before they meet, as a way of building trust. Others will want to choose the place for your first date, somewhere she feels safe. Don’t ever push to meet before she’s ready.

Trans Women: What do you want to know before you meet in person?

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