What Men Say about Dating Trans Women

You’re lurking online, admiring trans women, but you haven’t asked anybody out yet.

Maybe you haven’t dated in a long time because you know you are most attracted to a different kind of gal. Maybe you like women, period, and you’ve always found transgender women especially attractive. Maybe you find the idea of an ambiguous gender extremely sexy and don’t really understand why.

Guess what? The lucky men who regularly date trans women and have trans girlfriends were once where you are!

The experiences of dating, romance, love, and sex between a man and a transgender girl are as varied as any other human relationship. But since your inquiring mind wants to know a bit more, I took an informal survey of friends and friends of friends, to tell me—and you—honestly what it was like when they were new and shy trans admirers.

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 Trans Admirers on Trans Dating

“I never understood my attraction to differently gendered people until I actually dated trans women. I was always fascinated by the idea of cross dressing or male actors playing women or women who were born with men’s bodies. I thought I had some kind of strange thing going on. I was never attracted to male-identified men and have always had great sex with and been in love with women, so I didn’t quite get what it was that was going on for me.

After a bad divorce, I decided to explore this side before settling down again. Within a few dates I understood very well what my attraction was all about, and it wasn’t some big revelation. It was simply this: trans women are human beings, and humans are turned on or fall in love with all kinds of other human beings in all kinds of circumstances. That’s it.” – Jack, 37

“I didn’t consider myself a trans admirer or seek out transgender erotica or dating. It’s something that just happened when I happened to fall for a beautiful girl named Allie. Finding out for sure that she was trans was not a big surprise and not something she tried to hide or emphasize. It just didn’t matter at that point—I was smitten with a girl at the office. And I still am.” – Timothy, 27

“I stalked trans dating sites for years and never did anything about it. I dreamed about all the dates I would go on and all the girls I would meet. Don’t waste all the time that I wasted for some kind of uncertainty or fear! One day I realized I hadn’t been out with a woman or had sex for almost a decade. I realized I wasn’t going to find love or sex if I couldn’t face my own desires, and that it was ridiculous because no one was stopping me or judging me but me.

If you’re wondering what will people say?, ask yourself, what people? They probably matter a lot less than you and your future girlfriend matter to you. I’m making up for lost time with a lot of dates and a few flings, and I’m ready for a long-term lady when I meet the one.” – George, 54

“I’m one of those ‘try-sexuals’ so when a trans woman flirted with me at a club, then propositioned me, I thought, why not? Honestly, she was so beautiful and so horny that I could never forget her. Since then I date cis and trans women, whoever I find hot.” – Kirk, 23

“I was always attracted to transgendered people. It’s not always about how people look, either. It’s the kind of courage it takes to follow who you are that draws me most.” – Anthony, 30

What are your thoughts and experience of trans dating?

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