Nothing can feel worse than the sting of being rejected by someone you are really interested in. But it’s something that everyone goes through when looking for partners to date, hook up with or start a serious relationship with.
I can relate to the idea of having to kiss a lot of frogs on the way to finding a prince charming. And I could write a book on my experiences of online dating, awkward first dates, rejection, and my own personal mistakes that likely ruined some good dating opportunities.
When I started online dating, everything felt larger than life—the anticipation, and the anxiety of not knowing how chatting online would translate to an in-person date. Through the years, I’ve learned a few tips and tricks to keep my spirits high throughout the process.
If you’re feeling down and tired of waiting for the trans woman you’ve been hoping to meet, remember these tips.
How to Stay Confident while Dating
Your dating profile needs to be complete.
Having an attractive photo is not enough, these days, to get a woman’s attention. The more a trans woman knows about you in advance, the safer she will feel. Your pic will send her to your dating profile, where she will read for any red flags that don’t match her interests.
Read her profile before you send a message.
A woman knows you didn’t take the time to read her profile if your first message is “Wassup?” or “Hey, beautiful.” You can’t expect a reply if you’re not putting in any effort. Her profile will contain many things you can ask questions about that are unique to her.
Don’t take the rejection personally.
It can be frustrating to write a first message, especially if you’ve taken the time to make it personal, and not hear back. But women are under no obligation to respond to anyone on a dating site. And many sites won’t allow a message to be sent, unless a woman likes or favorites a profile or sends a message first.
There are many reasons you don’t hear back that have absolutely nothing to do with you. She may have more men sending messages than she knows what to do with, she may be out of the country, she may be having health issues, she may be too busy with other things in her life.
Don’t put all your eggs in one basket.
What can really affect one’s confidence is falling for a woman through her profile, sending her a message, and checking your dating app every hour for a response… that never comes. Of course, there will be some women you are just dying to meet, but open your heart to different types of women who you wouldn’t usually date and women outside your immediate area as well.
It’s okay to send out simultaneous messages, as long as they are not a generic form letter (yes, men do this!)
Think of dating as the background to your life.
It’s easy to become obsessed with dating sites, browsing profiles, and checking for responses to the point that you start neglecting other areas of your life. And if you’re not having dating success, you may feel run down and dejected.
Keep focused on your passions and interests, family and friends, desires and goals. Sometimes when you stop trying so hard to meet that certain someone, she turns up.
Take a break when you need to.
Most women and men I know have different styles when it comes to online dating. Some people like to go on one date a month while others I know are open to several a week.
I go on my site a couple times a year, hopefully go on a few dates, and see what pans out. If nothing, I’ll often take the app off my phone and chill out for a while. I enjoy being single as much as being in a good relationship, so I don’t mind closing down my profile for months at a time. This kind of break also serves to recharge the old dating battery.
Take time to reflect.
If you are being rejected or not having any responses at all, it’s a good idea to reflect on your dating process. We can’t control how others are going to respond or not respond to us, but we can control what we put out there, how we approach others we are attracted to, and how we stay positive moving forward.
What keeps up your confidence when experiencing dating rejection?