Why to Avoid First Date Sex

For some, first date sex is beyond exciting. It’s exhilarating. It’s intoxicating. It’s validating. And it also bonds two people together. For these reasons, it can feel like the right thing to do. But for these same reasons, it can turn out the be the wrong thing.

I am certainly not the moral police. Please. But I am coming from the perspective of someone who gave themselves too much, and way too soon. I loved sex, and still do. However, I now take extra measures to make sure I’m doin’ it with the right may-yan.

I’m not talking about finding Mr. Right, I’m just trying to find a Mr. More Right – at least for the interim. There have been many instances where I thought my date was absolutely amazing. They embodied all the perfect qualities (so I thought); they made me laugh, they were a fantastic flirt, we had chemistry. So the next thing to do was to put a sealed stamp of approval on it – sex!

Sex for sex sakes is great. However, I suggest being aware of what first-date sex actually means for both men and TS women. Do you know this person enough to safely say you trust them and their actions? Here are a few things to consider before you step into the bedroom with your TS girl or TS mate.

False Feelings
You’ve been having a great time with your date, you’ve been flirting all night, your adrenaline is pumping, and you can’t wait to get off! But after a night of romping in the sheets, you can be artificially drawn to them. This is a scientific fact: hormones such as dopamine, serotonin, and oxytocin cause humans to be primordially connected with their partner after sex. Your attraction is not based on logic at this point but on lust. The result? You may not even like this person next week – or even the next day!

Sexual History
When you feel intense sexual attraction for someone, you can misjudge if someone is trustworthy or not. I know from experience how one can feel in the moment: you’re kissing, things are getting heavy, you’re about to explode – but there’s no protection. You have yet to know this person for a day, and you decide to trust if their sexual history is clean or not? Why put your life at risk? Stay safe, and wait until you have protection. Your future is way more important than getting off for one night.

Protect Your Safety
As one of the main inspirations for this article, I recently read that “Annually one million women and 400,000 men are stalked.” Although, unclear whether that’s for North America or worldwide, it’s still an astounding number. TS women (and the men who are interested in them) are particularly at risk since we are still greatly marginalized. “False Feelings” can cause you to get too close, too quickly in the TS dating world, possibly bringing an unsavoury dangerous person into your life.

Read: Tips for Safe Online Dating

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