What Men Can Learn from Women’s Dating Profiles

I’ve read hundreds of men’s profiles on all kinds of dating sites, partly for my own dating and relationship interests and partly for research as a writer. I’ve also read lots of women’s posts, to know what I’m up against.

Men and women approach online dating differently. The contrast is obvious after you’ve looked at it from both angles, and when I say women, that of course includes transgender women.

There will always be exceptions, but here are a few things that women do (more than men) and why it works. Take note of these approaches to apply to your own dating profiles for more success in meeting trans women you want to hook up with, date casually, or start a relationship with.

Women spend a lot of time creating a profile. You might not know this, because there is an inclination to send first messages to women after only viewing a hot profile pic. Women aren’t spending the time to write an outstanding profile for nothing. We want to weed out anyone we don’t think is compatible. Time is precious, guys.

Women state explicitly what they are looking for. Men tend to leave the barn door wide open, afraid of excluding anyone. This may seem like a good idea at the time, but the bad dates will roll in, trust me. Don’t be afraid to get specific, even if all you want is casual sex. There are lots of women looking for a fuck buddy and nothing else.

Women choose pics that show personality. There’s a propensity among males to choose brooding, serious pics of themselves or quick bathroom selfies. Your angsty pics often come off as angry and turn the ladies off. Give us the real you smiling and engaging in your interests, and avoid the egocentric selfie if you can.

Women ask friends to look over their profile. Not only do we ask friends, men and women, to read over our profiles, but we also browse potential dates together—it’s fun. Friends can help proofread for grammar and punctuation errors, as well as help you determine if your profile really sounds like you (it’s not easy writing about ourselves.)

Women update their profiles regularly. We evolve, and so too should our profiles. Out of curiosity, I’ve clicked on profiles of men I’ve dated years ago to see what’s changed. Most of their profiles are identical to when I met them, five or more years ago! You should refresh your profile regularly, and that includes pics.

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