Most regular readers are already admirers of TS women. But some reading this are here for the first time. This is for you.
I recently heard from two readers.
“Jamie, I’m a divorced guy in my early thirties. I’m open minded and accept all kinds of people. I don’t tell others what to do. That said, I didn’t think I would ever date a TS girl.
I’ve never fantasized about it, but suddenly I find myself drawn to the new teller at my bank. She’s funny and cute, and we get along great. She’s a trans woman. I want to ask her out, but I honestly have no idea what the rules are or how to do it.”
Another wrote, “I’m open to dating a transexual lady. I’m curious. I’ve checked out some porn that was hot, but I’ve looked at all kinds of women—chubby girls, hirsute girls, older girls, milfs, you name it.
With so many news stories lately, I’ve learned that trans women are looking for the same things other girls are—I’d always sort of thought there was a special community or certain rules, and the likelihood of dating a nice trans girl was just fantasy. There’s a local paper that shows trans girls looking for one-night stands, but I prefer to get to know someone a bit. Where do I start?”
Maybe you’re curious and open minded also, but have no idea how to proceed.
Pointers for Men New to Trans Dating
1. Engage with confidence.
While there’s a community of transgender admirers, and a trans-allies community, you don’t need a membership card to meet new people.
TS women are also part of unions, political parties, soccer teams, gardening or artist circles, book clubs, etc.
Meeting new people or doing new things can be intimidating, but there’s a first time for everything!
2. Use online dating.
It’s easier to meet trans women at TSmeet.com than to approach women at the mall and ask, “Are you trans?” You’ll end up on dates one way, and with a broken nose the other!
3. Be honest.
The best way to handle scary situations is with honesty.
There’s nothing shameful in wanting to date trans women, so be honest about it. Show that you’re willing to learn.
4. Hold something back.
Be honest, but don’t dump on a date either. No one needs to know your life story on a first date… or about past girlfriends!
5. Be willing to learn.
Now that you’re here, learn more about the issues. Take the time to read some of our articles on meeting and dating trans women. With the internet, it’s easy to find and keep up on transgender issues.
6. Respect trans women as individuals.
Just because you read what one trans activist said doesn’t mean this is the opinion of your date.
Educate yourself from a variety of perspectives. Trans people don’t all agree on every issue.
There are transgender Democrats, Greens, and Republicans. There are different tastes and ideas on every subject. Never assume the ideas of one woman are those of the next, even if they share politics or culture or vocation.
7. Put yourself out there, because she’s looking for you.
You may feel unsure about dating a trans woman, but relax. Even if you have embarrassing moments, it’s not the end of the world. Don’t lose sight of the fact that trans women are looking for YOU.
Dating can be especially challenging for trans women. She has a smaller pool to date from than others. She’s looking for someone like you—kind and courteous, someone attracted to trans women, open-minded, and confident enough to not care what people think.