How to Play the Online Dating Waiting Game

When I first joined an online dating site, eight years ago, I didn’t know squat. I had a couple of girlfriends who had been meeting women and men and offered advice. And this was all well and good, but the best way to learn the ropes I found was to jump right in. As you likely know, this is the best way to explore many things in life.

One thing you will discover once you’ve joined a site, created a dating profile, browsed beautiful women’s profiles, and finally sent out some first messages, is that you spend a fair bit of time waiting… and waiting… and waiting for responses—and sadly, for some that never come.

But don’t despair. There are many ways to pass the time that will alleviate anxiety, as well as improve your success with meeting women online for casual sex and dating and relationships.

What to Do while You Wait to Meet Trans Women

Browse and Investigate other Dating Sites

Most of us automatically join the site we’ve heard the most about, or a site our friends have used, but there are so many online dating sites now that cater to niche relationships (like transgender) and interests that exploring what’s out there beyond the mainstream is worth your while.

It’s not as easy to meet trans women online for any kind of relationship as it is to meet cis women, but most trans admirers don’t only date trans women. So while you are waiting for your fantasy trans woman, join a second site to keep yourself from feeling frustrated or disappointed.

Maybe you also love kinky dominant women and want to check out a site like Or maybe you have a fantasy about joining a couple for a threesome hookup, so you might have a look at Be open to adventure!

Update and Refresh Your Dating Profile

Writing an online dating profile that will attract women takes effort, and the majority of men out there just don’t put it in. Some guys just post a quick bathroom selfie and scribble a few words in their profile, and this is what makes it easy for someone willing to put the time and energy into a standout profile that trans women will notice.

Assuming you initially did write that awesome profile, don’t let it become static with no tweaks every now and then. We all change and grow, sometimes slowly and other times overnight through unexpected outside forces.

Take a break from looking at women’s profiles to check out your own to see if what there still holds true. Are you still at the same job? Still working towards the same goals? Still looking for the same kind of relationship? And don’t forget to update your profile pics also, even if you haven’t lost weight or grown a beard.

Cast a Wider Net by Dating Against Type

Not everyone has a definitive type, but many of us have certain aspects—be it looks or traits—that we likely find ourselves attracted to time after time. When I was younger, it was hard to resist a guy with long hair who drove a motorcycle, then it was musicians, then it was blue-collar types.

I can happily say now that I had zero type. You name it, I’ve dated it. You’ll find being open to all kinds of women, including transgender, makes for an exciting dating life full of surprises, not to mention a more robust dance card.

Another way to cast a wider net is to date outside your area. If you have a means to travel outside your neighborhood, city, even state, make sure to broaden your location search settings on your dating site. Long-distance dating can be thrilling in itself because of the anticipation.

Focus on Self-Improvement outside the Dating Bubble

If you find yourself checking your online-dating app twenty times a day for new messages or responses, you’ll drive yourself crazy. We’ve all been there, but it can become a vicious loop. If it means deleting the app, and only checking your laptop in the morning and evening when you’re home, so be it.

While you’re not obsessing about the leggy blonde who you sent a message to last week, focus on short- and long-term goals you have. Do you want to become healthier through giving up vices and a better diet? Or take an online workshop that might help you get that job promotion. What about volunteering at the local animal rescue?

Let online dating be the background to what’s most important—you!

What gets you through the ups and downs of online dating? Please share in the comments!o

Tell us what you think

Notify of
Inline Feedbacks
View all comments