How to Build Excitement before Your First Date

As someone whose been around the online-dating block a few times, I’ve tried many approaches, techniques, and experiments. There are no magic tricks when it comes to finding what you want on a dating site, but there are a few things you can do to make the date more magical.

If you’re like me, you suffer some anxiety throughout the online dating process: from browsing and sending that first message, to sitting and waiting for your date to arrive at your planned destination.

One trick I do use to combat my anxiety is to replace the word “anxious” with “excited.” This really does work with enough practice. The excitement that you feel may include curiosity, interest, and even arousal. Let me share a few tips that can help to build her interest and arousal.

Meet her soon, but not too soon. There is no perfect time to meet a woman who has just replied to or sent you a first message. I used to drag it out for weeks (due to aforementioned anxiety) but that made things worse. Now I think about a week between first contact to in-person date is ideal. This gives you enough time to get to know each other better through back-and-forth online dialogue—to not only tease her curiosity, but also make her feel safe.

Take her lead, mirror her actions. Creating a safe feeling through online exchanges includes letting her decide when she is ready to meet. It may take longer than a week, but it may also be her first time meeting someone online. Also, follow her level of sexy when it comes to online messaging. If she becomes flirtatious, she’s giving you the green light to follow suit.

Take note of details to plan a unique date. There’s always small gems in a woman’s profile that can help you plan something beyond the usual for your first date. Forget coffee shops, and use what she’s written in her profile or talked about online with you to plan a date that is unique to her. It doesn’t have to be expensive, just thoughtful. Remember, women like a man with a plan.

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