How to Be a Great First Date… not the Last

Transgender women have more reasons than ever to be cautious when setting up a first date with a man they meet online. Even if you are both just looking for casual sex, it’s unlikely that she is going to invite you over to her place, or go to yours.

Often a first date is required to get to know you enough so that she feels safe to be alone for a hookup. You might end up having sex that same day, but it might be more like a test for a second-date rendezvous. So let’s make sure you have that second date.

How to Be a Great First Date

Make sure you both want the same thing.

Did you just see her profile pic and let your penis do the talking? Did you read her profile, or skip it and not know that she is looking for Mr. Right? A lot of men go by pictures alone, but a woman’s profile is the key to connection. You’ll be able to tell so much about whether you might be compatible through her bio, not to mention spotting red flags. Read it twice before you send a message.

Plan something unique.

Coffee on a patio is fine, but it’s boring and predictable. And asking her to plan the date can come across as lazy (only let her plan if she wants to because it makes her feel more comfortable.) Once you have a few back-and-forth messages online, you’ll get a feel for what she might be cool with. Maybe a picnic in the park or a hike through a nature trail is her scene, or maybe she thinks coffee isn’t exciting but that it’s easy. Go with her flow.

Meet on time and be prepared.

Nothing turns a woman off more than a man who shows up late to a first date, any date really. It’s often viewed as passive aggressive and can sour the entire date. Give yourself lots of time and if you’re early, walk around the block. Preparation includes good hygiene, giving yourself a large time window so your date doesn’t have to be rushed, and having a bit of coin so that you can treat the lady.

Keep your expectations low.

I can’t stress this point enough because I learned this one the hard way. I would spend so much time in fantasyland before a first date that nothing or no one would measure up. One way to keep yourself in check is to meet in person not too long after meeting online, a week or two max. So much depends on the chemistry we feel face to face that it can crush us if we’ve built someone up to impractical standards.

Enjoy the connection.

A lot of women, and men, will tell you that they know where a date will or won’t go sex-wise in the first couple of minutes. And while this may be true for some, if you give it more than those few minutes, you may surprise yourself with the possibilities. Sure, there’s instant chemistry, but I’ve hooked up with plenty of guys whose looks didn’t strike me right away or barely at all, but their personality, charm, and sense of humor had me wanting to get it on later that night or on the second date.

If you can’t see a hookup in the future for whatever reason, enjoy the company and connection another human provides, instead of cutting and running.

What first date tips would you add? Please share in the comments!

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