I was a holdout when it came to getting a cell phone. Some people called me a Luddite but I didn’t care. Part of my decision was seeing how addicted the people around me had become. Everywhere you looked, it was people using their phones like it was another appendage. No one was communicating face to face, hell, people barely use their phones as phones anymore… it’s just texting and posting pictures. Okay, enough of my mini rant. What I want to remind people about is how important it is to give a trans woman a warm, welcoming first impression on a first date. So… when it comes to cell phones and dating, remember to be polite and to respect a woman’s privacy.
Put the phone away… even if it’s sitting on the table between you, it is a distraction. She may be thinking you’re expecting a call any minute. If you don’t have a man bag or jacket pocket, place it face down and be sure to focus on her. This shouldn’t be difficult if you…
Turn your phone off… what?!? really?!? Yes really. All those blips and beeps and rings that phone notifications make are annoying to a woman who wants to know you’re interested in getting to know her. If you are expecting a very important call…
Turn the phone to vibrate… but only if you aren’t someone who has a phone call every half hour. I was on a date once with a man who answered his phone three times and talked for twenty minutes with a buddy. It was our last date.
Avoid the urge to Google everything… you know these people. Every question, thought, debate must be sorted out immediately through googling. Remember intimate communication does not involve a plastic piece of technology.
Don’t take photos… unless she suggests it and you are okay with it. A trans woman will want a certain amount of privacy and perhaps anonymity until she gets to know you. Also, selfies are become a cliché sign of narcissism. Live in the moment! If things go well, there will be plenty of time to capture memories down the road.
*If you really need to be in contact with your virtual world, wait until you or your trans date is in the washroom… then you can check your notifications and messages without being rude or insensitive.
Readers: has cell phone use/etiquette ever been a dating deal breaker?