You’ve met some trans women online, but haven’t had as many responses to your profile as you’d hoped to. Online dating is a lot of fun but it can be frustrating. How can you convey how fantastic you are in a few words? Conversely, how can you stand out from the crowd if you’re Joe Average, not Mr. America?
If you’re hoping for a magic formula, bells and whistles, or something new that you don’t already know, I’m sorry to disappoint. But putting these tried and true tips into action will make your in-box brim over in no time.
Smile in your profile picture. You’ll have plenty of time later for her to notice you look better with a wounded, wistful expression, or that you grimace and bare clenched teeth when you’re pumping iron. In the virtual jungle, where some cats are better looking, and some are serial killers, you want to show her the most important thing: you’re nice, normal, and fun to be around.
Forget “love sports, art, food, and long walks on the beach.” Who doesn’t? Write memorable, colorful, real details into your online profile. By giving specific details, you are more likely to encounter those who want to share your interests.
“I’ve spent time on the beaches of Mexico and Spain, and have developed a love for Spanish wine and Latin American folk art. I play baseball with my kids a few times a week to keep in shape, and enjoy watching a few hockey games now and again. It would be fun if you’d like to join me, but even better, if you’ll let me take you to my favorite tapas bistro.”
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Don’t say you’re single if you’re married. Don’t agree that you want a relationship if you just want to hook up. Don’t say you love art or sports if you like pizza and binge watching Orange is the New Black. Don’t say you have no kids when she asks and you have eleven of them. Don’t say you have a PhD when you haven’t graduated from high school.
Again, this isn’t rocket science. Pretending will only get you girls who think you’re someone else. That’s not very helpful. Just like you, transgendered people are looking for different things. Some are also married! Some love kids and have eleven of their own. Trans women, like you and anyone else, have different cultures, religions, relationship statuses, educational attainments, and sexual needs. Don’t assume you know the response she’s looking for when she asks something. Your best bet is the truth.
Let’s face it, you would never reach out to someone whose profile says, “All men are dogs and liars… looking for the exception.” So don’t expect transgendered gals looking for sex or love to get out the violins when you bellyache about being burned. Every adult knows that dating is tricky business and everyone has had a broken heart. No one wants to hook up with someone they feel sorry for.
Update your profile now with these simple tips and I guarantee you’ll get more responses and have better dates. Remember, trans people are looking for the same things you are: someone who is honest, nice, cute, and fun to be around. If you can be that person, you can find that person, too!
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