Dating Etiquette: Cellphones

I remember the first time I witnessed a couple on a date, where the woman was with him, and he was with his cell phone. It was a magical moment… It was like a heavy-handed, illustrative photograph used for advertising purposes – everything was over accentuated and terribly obvious.

The girl sat, clearly aggravated, on one side of the table. Arms folded, legs crossed, head tilted, brow furrowed, jaw jutted, while staring directly at her partner who was completely unaware of her current state of mind.

He sat holding his cell phone with both hands just under the edge of the table. Eyes dropped down just enough to text or read, with his chin slightly tucked-in to give the impression he was present with his date. He was clearly unaware of his daft composure.

Whether or not these two had been together for years, or just on the brink of a new relationship, cell phones have NO place on a date. Why, you ask? Why not “just this one text”? Why not “just this one call”? Why not “just gotta check the score”?

Because it takes your attention away from your trans date. Yes, even that one little text. Your mind splits into two worlds. And the result? The connection between you and the woman you’re apparently attracted to – getting to know, or are in love with – is lost. There can be a grave impact when reaching over to reply to that notification tone. The impact is two, three, four, five (or more) fold:

  • You’ve just announced that your date is not important enough.
  • You’re now paying attention to someone/thing else.
  • You’ve broken the loving connection with your date.
  • You’re attention to your cell phone is not sexy, passionate, or loving – it is selfish.
  • You’ve ruined a potentially memorable moment.
  • You’ve invited an inanimate object as the third person on your date.

Yes, there can be a couple of exceptions. An emergency is one. Perhaps you’re a parent with a babysitter for the night; or maybe you have a family member who is ill, waiting on some precious news. A way to respectfully bring your cell phone on your date is to make your partner aware of your situation. You can also personalize phone numbers with special rings so you know exactly who is calling.

Another possible exception is that it’s work-related. Maybe you have the type of job or career where you’re on call 24/7. Again, be pre-emptive and prepare your ts gal with your situation. Tell them you don’t want to take away time from the two of you being together, but sometimes work rings and you must take the call.

Please be kind and considerate. As much as cell phones are our fifth appendage in current times, we can still be respectful in how we use them. And as much as you may think it’s apart of our culture and “everybody does it”, in this case, “everybody” is wrong.

Besides, the reason why you’re out on a date is to give and get love. And it’s challenging enough to meet transexual women, so why ruin the moment with bad dating etiquette.

I’d love to know if any of you have experienced your date who dates their cell phone rather than you. What’s your story?

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