Facts & Info

Ping! The Moment You Meet a Trans Woman

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So, I don’t know if you’ve heard this term, but there are words for everything that people in particular subcultures choose to illustrate their experiences, and trans people are no different. NOT that I’m an expert in any way, as I’m always learning and understanding transgender truth deeper with every relationship I enter, both as friends and as intimate partners.

I am always interested in trying to share what I know to make everyone’s lives better. And it requires a particular respect, a delicate awareness and cautious approach to anything that might be misconstrued as exploitation or fetishizing trans women.

When one trans person discovers another trans person, that term is called a”ping” moment. Quite appropriate and accurate, oui mes amis! But the few steps further I’d like to go is the difference between a trans person pinging another trans person, and a cis person having a ping moment.

I don’t know if cis people are allowed to use the word, and if not, then I apologize for any misunderstanding or disrespect I have caused in my ignorance. But I want to express my personal experience as a lover, friend, and family member to some trans people in the world. So, I ask: When a cis person feels a ping moment and begins to feel more interest in a person BECAUSE they had a ping, is that okay?

I would like to highlight the very delicate line we are dancing upon here. There are people who are sincerely and genuinely seeking trans folks, and to ping one is a moment of appreciation and gratitude for the possibilities of social networking and such. Then there are people who are exploiters, manipulators, sexual predators, and worse, who prey on trans folk, and who are NOT the people I am talking about or honoring with my words. They can go away forever.

When I’m talking to someone cool, and they reveal to me that they are trans it can somehow sometimes make me feel much more attracted to them. Can we discuss this phenomenon? Have you ever experienced this, as a cis person? And as a trans person, is it a case-by-case basis, or a case of automatic kinship and instinctual attraction to a parallel citizen?

Let’s discuss it, or just observe it with kindness in our hearts!

Malcolm Lovejoy

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