How to Move Past Your Trans Fetish

For a lot of men, their interest in transgender women is merely a fetish, which pisses a lot of women off, trans or not. When you fetishize a trans woman, you’re not seeing her as a real woman, but some kind of object to fantasize about.

I suppose it doesn’t help that most trans porn does the same, and most porn in general. It makes me sad and angry to know that many young men who have grown up in an age where porn is so readily accessible and free that it becomes not only a source of misinformation, but also miseducation on matters of sex and sexual relationships.

Hey, I watch porn like everybody else, but I take it all with a grain of salt—a very quick means to a happy end.

If you do think of your trans attraction as a fetish, something to be ashamed of or hidden from everyone you know, it’s time to think of it differently.

Stop watching trans porn. Because it is so often stereotyped (tranny surprise) it doesn’t do men any favors in portraying trans women as real women. Try watching female friendly porn just for fun, maybe for actual enjoyment!

Read trans stories. These are easy to find on the internet or Instagram. In this Guardian article, five stories highlight the reality of being trans, and the different journeys taken.

Date a trans woman. Sometimes the fetish never comes to fruition, and that’s part of the fetish—it keeps your secret attraction firmly placed in fantasy land. But why not go on a date, maybe even have a hookup. Meeting and getting to know a trans woman will teach you more about transgender issues, than just reading stories.

Advocate for trans people. You don’t have to go march in the streets or sign petitions, unless you want to, of course, but just be willing to say something when you hear a co-worker or friend saying derogatory comments about trans people is helpful.

Dig deeper into your trans attraction. Maybe all you know is that you love thinking about “chicks with dicks” or “shemales” and that’s okay… for now. There’s just so much more about trans women that is attractive and unique. And this is when I again encourage you actually meet the kind of women you fantasize about.

Do you consider your trans attraction a fetish, a fantasy, or something more?

Tell us what you think

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