She’s a leggy blonde with big tits and a megawatt smile. She turns everyone’s heads as she walks into the bar, but she’s here to see you. The chemistry is great, and you can’t wait to see her again.
But she never calls. She never returns your texts. You might not have a clue where you went wrong.
Or maybe you’ve been dating a beautiful transgender woman for a while, and it seems like she’s into you too. You’re ready to take it to the next level, but she keeps holding back.
3 Things Trans Women Are Tired Of
1. She’s tired of being treated as a fetish or sex toy.
It can get tricky for guys who are simply looking for the kind of woman they are attracted to for casual sex. Whether your thing happens to be Japanese women, BBW, older women, or transgender women—if you have a preference or fetish, the object of your affection might perceive it negatively.
You might not understand this. After all, she’s looking for casual sexual encounters with a man like you, so isn’t that the same thing?
Maybe. Just always try to remember that your date isn’t just a transexual, but a human being with a story and needs and dreams. You aren’t expected to get too intimate emotionally when both of you are looking for casual hookups, but that doesn’t mean she’s just a hole.
The easiest way to make sure this miscommunication doesn’t happen is to prioritize her pleasure and needs, not yours. That always makes for hotter sex, anyways. Focus on her, all of her—before, during, and after the sex. Communicate effectively, and make sure she gets home okay.
2. She’s tired of not being kissed.
This blends in with number one. You might be hooking up with a heavenly hottie, and ready to dig right in. After all, you’re not dating.
Transgender women are women, and women need attention and affection for arousal. Sexuality is complex—it’s about biological urges, sure, but it fulfills a need for connection and a whole array of hormonal changes. You have mysterious chemicals in your saliva that arouse her body.
Don’t just skip the preliminaries. Make sure your definition of “sex” includes foreplay and afterplay.
3. She’s tired of her body’s journey.
It’s incredibly arousing to many men who are transgender admirers to think of the transformation of her body. It might be exoticizing her, but regardless, it’s so hot. The taboo, the blend, the whole she-male thing, the whole amazement at what surgeons can do, the whole femininity thing—whatever it is, it makes you crazy with lust and admiration.
But being inside that body can be very difficult. For many years, she didn’t feel her body represented her or belonged to her. People thought she was somebody else. Then it was a constant source of pain and agony and medical trauma. There are so many surgeries, and recovery can be frustrating and painful.
Like any other human being, she has sexual needs. But even if she’s totally comfortable with herself in every way, she may have endured pain and trauma in her body.
You can help by understanding this better. Put her and her body first, as you always should with a woman. Make sure her pleasure is met on her own terms, and if she bows out of sex, don’t feel led on or teased. Ask if she would like to just snuggle or be held instead, without expectation. This kind of closeness can be fulfilling on its own, and when her body is responding the way she wants it to, she’ll remember your number, believe me.
Can you add to this from your experience? Please share in the comments!