The Catch-22 of Trans-Attracted Men

As any transgendered woman with online dating experience can tell you, there’s a sizeable portion of heterosexual men who have a borderline obsession with having sex with a pre-op transexual. So common is this fixation that entire sectors of the pornography business are dedicated to so-called she-male and chicks-with-dicks porn, and a quick browse through your local adult classifieds will uncover a brisk trade in trans sex being proffered by TG women in exchange for cash.

Casting transgender women as a fetish is admittedly demeaning but dismissing all men with a TG interest, particularly as many transgender women don’t go the full distance in their transition or the completion of the transition may be years away, diminishes the T-girl of today as inadequate or not ready to have a full adult relationship.

Not every transgender woman is going to emerge on the other side of their transition looking like a supermodel, or even necessarily looking like a cisgender woman. Turning away men who are attracted to trans-women’s unique characteristics is in essence condemning potential partners who find you sexually attractive for the crime of finding you sexually attractive. It’s a ludicrous and self-defeating mindset.

Most human beings, regardless of sexual or gender orientation, are highly sexual beings. A woman planning a full transition might find that a man she’s been involved with, who appreciates her unique pre-op characteristics, is not willing to accompany her for the full-length of her journey. That does not automatically mean that sharing a portion of her trip can’t be rewarding? Let’s face it, most relationships have an expiration date, including those intended to be lifelong.

No one wants to date a creep, but by automatically ruling men out because they find you attractive as you are now isn’t doing anyone any favors. It deprives both the lady and her prospective partner the companionship and sexual gratification that is an integral part of a healthy adult life. This knee-jerk rejection of men who find transgendered women exciting and erotic just drives them to satisfy these desires through porn and sex workers, perpetuating the fetishization that we all find so politically incorrect and objectionable.

The most effective way to humanize transgender women in the minds of these men is to interact with them like human beings, not just as a sex object or a bizarre fetish. You are the master of your destiny, and a man who finds you sexually attractive is a candidate with which to build a relationship. It’s up to you to establish what is acceptable and unacceptable in your relationships, but if you aren’t even participating in the dating game, not only is winning unlikely, you’re missing out on the enrichment that short-term relationships can provide.

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