Making the First Move with Trans Hookups

Is there a measurement of who makes the first move in transgender relations, some or most of the time? I’m just curious, you know?

It doesn’t really matter at the end of the day, because what ultimate matters is that a relationship comes to life, and people are happy.

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There is a trans friend I know, and they tell me of how often they are approached in public by men who are obviously interested in transgender women.

I find that joy-inspiring and intriguing. I was actually with them once when it happened. To see a man’s clear attraction to trans energy was sweet, especially since he was a middle-aged black man. I’m certain that there are still phobias and stigmas in both communities about the other individual.

But this man didn’t give a fuck or a rat’s ass. He was as bold as love like Jimi Hendrix said we should be, and he let his heart show. First!

My trans friend received this man’s attraction graciously but didn’t return the favor of the flavor. They seemed to be assessing the situation which must be something a trans person is doing more often than most cis folks are aware of, or ever have to do for themselves, in this particular sex-sprinkled circumstance.

I should ask them next time for the sake of research and of course my own pregnant curiosity. But I want to know: does being trans push a person to receiving more invitations to intimacy, or giving more invitations to intimacy than the average civilian in our society?

I know that I have played tease-tag with trans people quite a few times in various sex clubs, just circling each other like love vultures with our prey in our eyes.

I have made the first move a few times, and a few times trans folks have approached me first and let me know what they want and when they want it (aka now).

I enjoy being both predator and prey in sexy situations in life, and these times were no different! But what was different, was what I felt like the sequence of seduction was, and how uniquely it unfolded.

Quantifying one’s date and romantic rendezvous is just crass and cheap, but in my mind… I am analyzing it. The unexamined life is not worth living, right?

So yeah, thinking back, there was a special evolution to my polyamorous transgender hookups, and they were all very gentle. None of them were aggressive or insulting or oppressive, and none of them were anything I regret, because it happened too fast and furious for us to be friendly in the midst of having fun.

But… do trans people generally have to make the first move if they want anything happy to happen to them?

I hope not, and I also hope so!

In love,
Addi Stewart

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