Dating a transexual should be like dating any other woman, right? In theory, this is true, but sometimes preconceived ideas and unrealistic notions can get in the way of common sense. These tips apply mainly to first dates, where first impressions are so important. If your date lives up to your hopeful expectations, then you’re going to want a second date, so listen up…
TS Dating Do’s and Don’ts
Pick the Right Place
Avoid first date destinations such as noisy bars and nightclubs. Who knows… if all goes well you may end up dancing the night away with your transexual date, but you’ll want the opportunity to get to know each other better. Pick a place that lets you talk without a lot of distraction such as a cozy coffee shop or intimate restaurant.
Dress Appropriately
This depends on where you meet. If it’s just a coffee date then something more casual is in order. Somewhere with a casual dress code is always a good idea because you’ll both be at your most comfortable.
Choose your Words Carefully
If you’re at the stage of asking a transexual out on a date, hopefully this will be information you already know. Never refer to your date or other transwomen with the words tranny or shemale. Is this new to you? Read about the different terms for transwomen and their meanings here. If you’re unsure, there’s always one term that fits perfectly – “woman”.
Treat Her Like the Lady She Is
A true gentleman always opens doors and is extra polite with a woman on the first date, right? Well, with a trans date this is even more important. Transexuals love to be treated like a lady and you will likely note their appreciation for being treated as they desire and deserve.
Resist Asking too Many Personal Questions
Some people are fascinated by the lives of transexuals and the struggles they have had to overcome. Please, resist the urge to ask your TS date about their family, their transition, or why they’ve made the choices they have. If you develop a relationship with your date later on, these topics may be open for discussion then.
Avoid Drinking Too Much
Perhaps you’re nervous about your first date and think that meeting for drinks will help calm your nerves. While this may be true, a few too many can ruin what might have been a lovely evening. Keep yourself to a 3 drink limit, and focus on your date rather than trying to drink yourself into a night of too-soon passion, or worse – completely offending your date with poor behaviour.
Respect Their Gender Preference
This goes hand-in-hand with the rule above about watching your language. Never refer to your date with the unsavoury terms mentioned above, and even more importantly, never disregard their chosen gender by referring to them by the wrong gender. She has likely experienced more than enough discrimination and judgement.
Focus on Common Interests
Worried about what you’ll talk about? If you want to really get your ts date’s attention and make her feel comfortable, focus on discovering your common interests and values. You may even come up with an activity for your second date through this type of conversation.
Be Different From the Rest
Do not treat your transexual date as a purely sexual object. Believe me, this is likely the bane of most transwomen in the dating scene. She is not simply a piece of meat and is tired of being fodder for every guy who has a fetish for “chicks with dicks”. Forget this line of thinking all together and show her the respect she deserves. This alone will put you well ahead of all the “tranny chasers” out there.
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