Dating isn’t easy for anyone, but if you’re shy, it can be downright debilitating and leave you feeling depressed and alone. I grew up painfully shy, so I know what it can feel like and how it affects any relationship you have or would like to have. I wouldn’t say I’m ultra confident, but I don’t let the shy reserved part of myself stop me from doing things I want to do, which includes dating, and enjoying the company of men.
And if you’re a shy man and also like trans women, it can be even more unnerving because you may be keeping this attraction to yourself, worried what your family and/or friends will think. Struggling with something alone only makes it that much harder to overcome.
Here are dating tips that can help shy men find and date the women they love:
1. Date Shy Women
Unless you just love and have to be with a dominant woman, I suggest dating other shy people. It will make you feel calm to be around like individuals and you won’t feel pressured into doing things or moving at a speed you are uncomfortable with.
This gives you all the time you need before you’re actually ready to meet a potential mate in person. If it takes you months to send your first message, that’s okay.
Plan Dates in Comfort Zones
Most women prefer a man to take the lead and come up with a dating idea. No need to stress. Plan your get together somewhere you’ve already been or plan to do something you feel confident doing. This will take the edge off.
Don’t Dwell on your Shyness
You may have something in your profile about your shyness, that’s cool. But once you’re on your date don’t draw attention to it by saying things like, “Oh, I wish I wasn’t so shy” or “You probably prefer more outgoing men.” Lots of women dig shy guys; they’re way more attractive than the macho he-man types.
Focus on Her
By focusing on your date, you won’t have to fret about doing all the talking. The number one thing women complain about after a first date is when a man doesn’t ask her any questions. Ask away, make eye contact and give compliments.
Are you shy with women? Any tips you can share?