Just the Tips

6 Tips for Coming Out as a Transgender Admirer

Women Lined Up at Bar

If you’re trans attracted, and everyone knows it, congratulations! For some of you, it’s not exactly a secret. But you might wonder whether you’re supposed to make an announcement or tell your besties, or if it’s much ado about nothing.

You might view your trans attraction as an orientation and want to alert your friends and family to it, so you can live your life moving forward without surprising anyone.

Or you may have assumed that it is no one’s business, but since you’re moving towards a long-term relationship with a trans woman, you now find yourself wanting to bring your girlfriend to holiday dinners with family and are ready to proclaim your love.

6 Tips on Coming Out as a Trans Admirer

1. Fuck Shame

This almost goes without saying. Thank goodness the days of shame or transphobia are behind us, right? Well, we’re getting there.

Unfortunately, some guys who are trans admirers may still feel confused or embarrassed. Get over it if that’s you. Transgender women are human beings and so are you, period.

But even if you are comfortable with your attraction, you know that not everyone has evolved. You might be in the closet because you don’t want to upset your family.

Don’t assume everyone is transphobic or fragile, however. If your attraction is their business for any reason, see it as an opportunity to open a much-needed dialogue.

2. Forget the Big Reveal

If you’re a guy who is into women, there isn’t really much to announce, is there?

You don’t have to have a coming-out party or make a big speech at the family reunion. People figure out who other people date through the simple power of observation.

When you introduce your trans girlfriend at the staff annual gala, your co-workers may (or may not) notice she’s trans. Consider that that might be all you need to say.

3. Be an Ally

What your sexual tastes are like is far less important than who you stand up for. If your friends or family see you at trans-rights marches or witness you standing up for a trans woman in your office or church, they get a bigger and more important picture.

There are many ways to support the trans community, and trans women will notice!

4. Follow Your Desires

On the other hand, you want transgender women and friends of trans girls to know that you’re in the market if you are. Hiding your attraction only means not having the same opportunities for dating as other people whose tastes are known have.

It might be more practical to be gradual, rather than make a big statement. When the guys are talking about pussy, or someone mentions they date men, you might casually state your dating preferences too. Or you might tell your buddy you meet gorgeous t-girls on transgender dating sites.

5. Put Safety First

Don’t be too loud or pushy about your preferences if you think you might endanger yourself or the girl you’re dating. It’s one thing to stand your ground for the cause, but if you think your trans girl could be subject to transphobia or other danger, lay low until it’s safer.

6. Share with the Women You Know

If you’re close to a sister or your ex-girlfriend, sharing your preferences there can get you support and ally-ship, as well as letting great women know you’re open to introductions!

Are you out with your trans attraction? Share in the comments!

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