Welcome to an entirely new decade, and with this, a pretty damned near-perfect opportunity to take a step into the future, especially when it comes to understanding that gender is not just one thing or another, but a beautiful spectrum of possibilities.
We’d like to respectfully offer some thoughts and guidance on how to navigate this spectrum of gender, and how doing so might give you a new perspective on the trans dating scene.
What to Know about the Gender Spectrum
Gender Isn’t Biology
One of the most important things is to understand that physical bodies don’t reflect gender identity. Odd perhaps to say on a site dedicated to having relationships with those who deeply feel the same, but the thing is that more and more people have been liberating themselves from what they see as expectations in regards to gender.
This means that when someone says they identify as, for example, a T-girl, you shouldn’t automatically assume anything about their biology. Rather, listen, ask respectfully if the situation allows, and always accept and support their gender identity.
The Gender Spectrum Isn’t New
Sadly, when feeling uncertain or frustrated sometimes people will grumble about how much has changed when it comes to gender. True, as a culture we are slowly becoming much more open about communicating gender identity, but science is clear that the whole idea of “gender” has always been nothing but a social construct.
Biology has also never been truly male or female, but a range of possibilities. So if you do find yourself pining for “simpler days,” work towards the realization that they never have been. Acceptance means the world will be a much better place.
The Spectrum Offers Endless Possibilities
As we grow more willing to accept that gender is not binary and can have zilch to do with who we are as individuals, we also see the beauty in everyone and open ourselves to more trans relationship possibilities.
We can be who we are, liberated from identities that others might want us to conform to. For the dating scene, this means that those who identify as T-girls or trans women can be more comfortable with how they express themselves, and give those who are attracted to them all kinds of opportunities to expand their horizons.
The World of Trans Dating
How do you manage your way through this expanding rainbow of gender identity? Well, in a nutshell, the same way you do dating anyone. Be polite and respectful, not making any assumptions about pronouns or someone’s gender identity. In fact, a good opener might be to inquire as to their preferred form of address.
Try not to make any assumptions as to their physicality. If it should come up, give them your complete attention, try to avoid jokes and the like, and respond without judgment.
If you receive an answer that is not what you’re looking for, don’t just ghost them, or worse, be insulting. Instead, never forget that you are communicating with a human being first, not with some potential sexual fantasy. With so many ignorant and bigoted people out there, many trans women still have the bravery to live their lives as they see fit, and deserve to be treated with respect.
Gender has always been neither one state or the other, and the same is true for our biology. Now we are finally beginning to accept this as a culture—allowing people to live as they know their true selves to be, no matter what their bodies look like.
It’s not only about the freedom to be who we are, but also the freedom to experiment with what gender is and can be—a truly beautiful spectrum of identity.