There’s a lot of confusion out in mainstream society about crossdressing, with the prevailing wisdom being that crossdressers are by definition a flavor of homosexual. While there is a longstanding tradition in the gay community of men dressing like women for entertainment, often adopting outrageous over the top personas for their performances. And drag queens are quite different than your average cross-dresser, and are not necessarily transexual or transgendered.
Many heterosexual men enjoy wearing women’s underwear under their cisgender clothing, enjoying the secret silky feeling of ladies’ undergarments give them. Other men go whole-hog, dressing themselves in the full compliment of women’s clothes, as well as makeup and wigs to complete the picture.
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A person’s enjoyment of garments and playing with their gender identity is independent of their sexuality. For some who are transgendered there is often a progression where they live their lives as gay men before moving on to coming to terms with their transgender identity, but most men who enjoy dressing up in ladies’ clothing remain heterosexually oriented, regardless of whether they’re wearing pants or a skirt.
Heterosexual crossdressers enjoy the feeling that wearing feminine clothes gives them but have little desire to have sex with other men. Those in healthy supportive relationships let their women dress them, with both enjoying the bending of gender norms and the titillation that is part and parcel of breaking the deeply ingrained expectations of gender-normative stereotypes. That said, there are gay men who do drag and may even find it sexually arousing, however unlike their straight counterparts who constitute the majority of crossdressers, these drag queens want to have sex with men, whether they’re dressed as a woman or a man. The drag element is just the cherry on top to their erotic sundae, rather than being a crucial component of their sexuality.
If one were to go on cross-dresser dating sites like Date A Cross-dresser, for example you’ll find plenty of men who enjoy dressing as a woman who are looking solely for a woman to share in their indulgence. Humans are a complicated lot, and sexual orientation is independent of gender identity, which is independent of whatever outfits one might enjoy when playing dress up.
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