Exit strategies. I personally go for the upfront and honest, but so many people have trouble with this truthful approach. So, I thought I’d let you in on some of the successful and not-so-successful stories other single trans girls came up with to get out of their drag of a date.
The Filibuster
“Start talking and literally never stop. This technique requires persistence, because some people are going to be too polite (or maybe even too interested) to start running when they realize you have no intention of letting them speak anymore. Try it out and see what kind of challenging fun this can be for yourself!”
The Gross-Out
“Go the bathroom. When you come back, tell your date you threw up absolutely everywhere. Start with: “I don’t know how I threw up that much.” Wait a beat to see how they react, then really pour it on… “It was in the toilet mostly, but also on the floor, and a little in the sink. I tried to clean it up but then it got on the mirror. There was no paper towel and had to use my hands. I can still taste it in my mouth… Can I use your fork?”
It’s the Garlic!
“My girlfriend and I were feeling so uncomfortable on our double date that night, so I asked to use her lotion. I have very sensitive skin and knew I’d get hives from it almost instantly. I went to the bathroom and put it all over my neckline. Two minutes later my date was awkwardly staring wide-eyed at my chest. My friend took the cue and freaked out about my “garlic allergy” and insisted she’d take me to the hospital. I’m a terrible person, but it worked…”
The Big Cry
“It was our second date, and he was criticizing me for not living up to his expectations as a girlfriend. I figured that if I started crying, he’d stop; so pulling all the fake tear tricks I had learned from my sister, I burst into tears. He stopped to dry my eyes, but then started criticizing me all over again. Then, of course, got mad at me for crying in the first place.”
The Friend Zone
“Get out of the romantic spotlight by indicating what great friends the two of you can become. Comment on how hilarious he is and how he reminds you of your brother, your best friend, or even better – your dad.
The Asshole
“Excuse me, I have to go. You’re incredibly boring.”
Like I said, I prefer to go for the upfront and honest approach, but if you love to pull out the mischief card and roll with the ridiculous punches, by all means, go for broke and whip one of these puppies out. When your mission is complete, make sure you check back here and reveal to us the sneaky story you created.
How do you escape from a bad date?
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