Ohhhhh, gender, gender, gender. Who said we could fuck with you?
While we ruminate on that for a moment…
OHHHHH, sexuality, sexuality, sexuality. Who said we could introduce YOU to the gender problem we’re having over here?
Yes, we’re are a confused bunch. Yes, we’re human. Yes, we’re complicated.
And it makes no difference if you’re male or female – we’re all complicated. And, we’re all too smart for our own good. (I used to reserve that statement for the “geniuses” and the “artists”, but really? People are bonkers, and we all have a good mix of acting on instincts and impulses while operating with our heavy baggage that contains a healthy dose of intellect and reasoning.)
Generally? I think we’re nuts. So, the best I can do is try to iron out some of that super, duper hard-to-explain gender-sexuality-neutral-not-so-neutral grey area.
Some guys just know, and some guys have to really soul search. What’s that? It’s your sexuality. On the grand scheme of things – you’re not gay. You’re a guy – a STRAIGHT guy – and you happen to love t-girls. TS women are women, and that’s that.
As a second point to note, when an individual is gay, one thinks about being with that gender – the same sex. They think about the same body parts, the same train of thought, the same mutual turn-ons (OK, that’s open to subjectivity). Trans women are not the same sex as straight men. TS girls have been born as physically male, but not the same mentally.
Interestingly enough, a lot of straight men feel and experience TS women to be more feminine than genetic women. Most straight men are attracted to women for their femininity, for their softness, for their delicateness. And as much as I hate to gender stereotype, the hard lines in gender roles do exist.
Straight men also find that TS women seem to have less hangups than genetic women do. TS women have come to terms with their identity differently and have been more acutely aware of themselves and who they are, more than genetic women. Since their differences are quite striking at the birth stages, therefore, coming to terms with oneself can be significantly more intense for a TS woman. In terms of knowing oneself, once fully aware and accepting, a trans woman can be light years ahead of a genetic woman “simply” because a TS woman has a lot more to face and conquer.
It’s a hard process to come to know oneself, so please don’t see this as a slight against any one person’s journey over another. But the journey for a TS woman can be extremely difficult. And because of this introspective journey, some straight men may be more attracted to this type of women because of her personal advancements.
From my many years of experience, if you’re a man interested in dating a TS woman, you are not gay. You’re just open to possibilities.
Tell us what you think