Men and women both make the constant mistake of taking things personally when someone they’re attracted to doesn’t seem to care that they’re alive. We assume it’s something we did, or didn’t do.
A few years ago, I was really hot for this bloke who seemed quite receptive to my flirting. He couldn’t keep his eyes off of me and seemed super turned on by my tight blouses, but I moved on after a few weeks of nothing.
When I complained to a friend that I failed to attract this guy, she looked at me funny and said, “You know he’s only into looking, right?”
This guy had an extreme voyeur fetish. Apparently he had never been with a woman traditionally at all, and took satisfaction only in watching and looking.
5 Reasons She’s Not Returning Your Attention
1. She’s Asexual
It’s rare and probably a lot more likely that her lack of interest in dudes is their bad attitudes or blunders.
That said, if a woman you’ve taken a fancy to is asexual, it’s probably not something everyone knows about. She keeps her history to herself because it’s no one’s business. You feel she’s not attracted to you, and you’re right… but maybe its because she’s attracted to nobody.
Asexuality is rare, but not that rare.
2. She Has Very Specific Needs and Desires
Women are often more flexible with their fetishes or ideal features than are men. An emotional connection often broadens the potential for physical connection and different directions in sex, but not always.
Some women have very strong preferences. Maybe she likes smooth, fit Asian men with very dark hair and small tight butts, and you’re a dude from Wales. Sorry.
3. You’re too Nice
Disclaimer: I am NOT saying guys should stop being nice. I am not saying guys should be more aggressive and ignore consent, but a lot of women are inexplicably drawn to the rogue.
When nice guys moan about their ex dating cons and men who treat them like crap, they have a point.
The “bad boy” is a major romantic theme in a lot of cinema and many romance novels, and a lot of women fall hard for guys who are messy and macho and in trouble.
You can’t fix that for her, and don’t try. Run. Many of us outgrow it. If we don’t, run faster.
4. She’s Dominant, and You’re Submissive
Or vice versa.
I think eclectic and clashing tastes are a great challenge. But there are times when a proclivity is so strong that a girl can’t possibly see its opposite as a sexual being. Great friendships are born out of this impasse but hot kinky romantic relationships, not often.
5. It’s Complicated
She might be married, or otherwise involved in a complex relationship or set of relationships, and adding someone to that mix is not wise. Maybe she’s not into casual encounters, and wants to save that part of herself for someone with a long-term goal in mind. Maybe she’s not looking for love, just sex, and you’re clearly hoping for something lasting.
It’s best to be clear on your online dating profiles what it is you are looking for, whether that’s no-strings-attached sex, casual lovers, or committed romantic relationships. That way, both you and the transgender women you meet online will at least be barking up the same tree.
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