A common complaint among transgender women dating online is not that all the potential suitors are average or ugly. It’s that so many of them use fake photos.
It’s only natural to want to put our best face forward when online dating, and of course you don’t want to pick the worst picture and scare potential trans ladies away. But some men post fake pictures or ones taken fifteen years ago when they had a full head of hair and washboard abs.
They’re hoping that once they meet up, their date will be so bowled away by their gorgeous eyes and winning personality that she won’t notice he really isn’t Ryan Gosling.
You may even be wondering why you’re not getting any dates at all.
Many transgendered women are smart enough to know a fraud when they see one. Others may be intimidated about measuring up against Adonis. Some will think you must be so unsightly that it’s not worth responding even if your interests mesh. Most will guess that you’re insecure or place too much importance on looks and not enough on character, relationships, or work.
By using a real photo, you are always sending the right message. You are comfortable with yourself and realistic about what people look like. You take pride in looking your best, but you’re not 21 (unless you really are 21). There are other important things in life!
Tips for Choosing Dating Profile Pictures
1. Don’t post family photos or pictures of you with your ex-girlfriend cut out. Pics with folks cut out of them have been shown to get the least responses on dating sites.
2. Don’t post pictures of you with your ex-girlfriend. Some men want to prove to future trans dates that they have dated other transexual people. That’s fine, but you can say so in your profile.
3. Do select a photo that shows you doing what you love. A picture of you golfing, clowning around, fishing, dressed for work, or in front of a Vermeer at an art gallery, says a great deal about you.
4. Do not send a mug shot, even if it’s flattering. It might look like you’re hiding something if we can’t see the rest of you. If you are hiding something, don’t. Own it. No one’s perfect.
5. Don’t assume your type is not what transgendered girls are looking for. If it’s not what she’s into, she won’t contact you, and that’s less embarrassing than going on a date and being told you aren’t what she hoped for. Besides, like any other women, trans women have different preferences. You can’t control the preferences of others. Your odds of finding a good fit are much higher if you let people find you. There’s someone for everyone!
6. Don’t take tripod selfies against a concrete basement wall in dim lights unless you want to look like a serial killer. You don’t want anything doctored or contrived. A modest effort to look your best in a natural setting will go a long way.
7. Do build profiles on different sites and stay hopeful. A successful date or meeting the right person can be challenging. We are all unique, and finding a fit among the billions of other unique people out there is not always easy. But the possibilities are what make online dating so exciting!
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