Something that I’ve come to realize, which is obvious on one level but really unspoken about in the grand scheme of sexy things in the world, is that everyone has their own time and space for maturing. And that maturity process really comes in an entire different dimension for different people.
Puberty is the normal way we speak about mature evolution of a human identity. But adolescence happens for so many different people at different times. And this is external, physical genital adolescence. We aren’t even talking about emotional and intellectual adolescence, which can take years to develop and possibly heal from trauma, which happens regularly to even the best of people.
I say all this to say: a level of maturation and evolution for another particular type of person is the growth of inner peace and sexual preparation for a trans person. They can have a whole lifetime of experiences as one gender, and once the time comes for them to transition, there is a physical process of transformation that must occur… and the physical can take some time.
For testosterone treatments to begin to show—body hair growth, facial hair growth, a deeper voice—it may take months. And then comes the mental and emotional evolution. And what does this do to their intimate intentions?
I have a trans lover who I have had sex with many times over years, when they were a woman. They have transitioned in the last year, and are nearly done their hormone treatments. I recently saw them in the crowd at Pride, and they told me how they want me so fucking badly, but they are not ready for the connection just yet.
They think it’s still a few more weeks before their body will be able to handle it, and their mind too. We kissed and chatted, and I totally understand it takes time for the mind, body, and soul to be aligned—this is true for everybody. I can’t imagine how much more true it is for someone who is transitioning from male to female or vice versa, but I’ll be able to share more details once I engage in this new experience with my lover!
We are ALL in a constant maturation process, and I think it’s not right to think it stops once we are done high school or when our genitals stop growing new hair. We are in a place where evolution never stops happening, from year to year, so why shouldn’t our sexual intentions and understandings?
I know I’m a different person now than I was even two years ago! My maturation has steadily improved, and it’s not just from being with this trans lover—it’s a requirement though. Trans people kinda force you to be aware of your own evolution and elevation!
You can’t keep doing the same things with a trans person because their body isn’t even the same anymore! So yeah, keep maturing and evolving. There’s so many possibilities that our imagination can’t even see, much less feel… until you and I are in the arms of a new body!