When I first met Ankh, ze told me that a big part of accepting zim, was accepting that ze didn’t fit into the usual narrow channels we used to define who was male and who was female. Ankh is neither. Ze chooses a set of descriptors that adhere to neither the left nor the right, the female nor the male.
Ankh wears a blend of male and female clothes. Ze has a light beard and moustache, but also has developed breasts, and chooses to wear makeup. From behind, ze appears mostly as a woman. There is a certain snap in zir hips. From the front, the immediate impression is more confusing.
Ankh thrives on this confusion. Zir life is zir art. The destabilization of people’s perceptions delights zir. It’s true that this moment; the moment when a stranger sees zir, and decides he or she doesn’t know what to make of zir, is where art begins. The confused person is filled with doubt, and this doubt is self-reflected.
Heterosexual people, cis-gendered people, want to be able to categorize everyone they meet into either potential friends, or potential mates. This makes the moment of introduction crucial. When there is a breakdown at this foundational point, the poor straight people don’t know what to do.
Of course Ankh fucks who ze pleases. Men, women, other trans folk, queers and straights; everyone is welcome under the big tent. The problem is when someone is turned on by something they didn’t expect and this turn-on begins to disintegrate their powerful notion of who they are.
“I’m not gay!” they say to themselves over and over. “Why am I attracted to this creature that embodies both the male and the female? Why do I get a hard cock from imagining the symbols of Mars and Venus merging into one powerful sexual symbol?”
“Work though that shit, and have fun!” Ankh says. “Fuck me in all the holes I got, and let me fuck yours. That’s how this kind of thing works.”
Choosing the pronouns you want to have defining you is a powerful step toward reclaiming your own gender, and not being defined by the perceptions of other people. Not being defined by the perceptions of the world around you. Who gives a shit what the haters think? If you spend your life worrying how other people judge you, you’re never going to be anything. You will always cower in the box they have chosen for you.
Life is too short to not follow your dreams. Life is too short to live in only one gender; not when you can have them all!