If you’re having any success at all on TS dating sites then you’ve probably ended up with some ongoing hookups or even a relationship with a transwoman. But with hooking up comes breaking up. I’m not trying to be a downer here – it’s simply a fact of life. What goes up must come down, and nearly every dating experience must come to an end.
I’m going to be optimistic here and assume it’s you who wants to end a relationship. Here are 4 tips for getting out responsibly.
Rule #1: Be Kind
No one likes to have their heart stomped on, so tread lightly. If you are ending a relationship with a woman then try to be as sensitive to her feelings as possible because being dumped isn’t easy as we all know. While honesty is usually the best policy, be careful – it’s also okay to spare someone’s feeling in some cases. If you’re dating someone else, tell them; if you just aren’t feeling it, say so. But if it’s something very specific like their ear-piercing laugh or you hate their kisses, it’s okay to spare feelings and be a little more vague with the old standy: “I just don’t think we’re a match.”
Rule #2: Break Up in Person (with a few exceptions)
If you’ve been on more than five dates then I think it’s almost always necessary to end the relationship in person. This is not a hard and fast rule as it depends on how intimate you’ve been and how much time you’ve spent together. If you’re even a little bit unsure then do it in person! It’s a sign of respect and shows that even though it’s not working out, you value this person enough to end things face-to-face. No, it’s not easy; but you’re a man, not a coward, right? The only time it’s really acceptable to bow out in a text, email, or dating site message, is when you’ve only hung out once or twice.
Rule #3: Avoid a Messy Aftermath by Limiting Contact
Have you experienced the break-up that never seems to go away? You’ve ended things, let them say their piece, and tried to move on… but they just won’t let you go? If you’ve ended things, don’t buy into that “let’s be friends” thing. I’m not saying you can never be friends afterwards, or you need to completely ignore this lovely tgirl forever, but every breakup requires space. Once you’ve wrapped things up just let it go. If your ex-lover keeps calling and messaging you, you might need to back away and stop responding. It might seem cruel, but in the end you’re doing them a favour by encouraging them to move on as well.
Rule #4: Stay Optimistic to Avoid Bitterness
Ok, you’ve made it out alive! You’ve taken care of this other person’s feelings as carefully and honestly as you could, you’ve respected them by giving them the face time they deserve, and you’ve avoided the trap of the clingy ex. So what about YOU? Even though it was your decision to end the affair that doesn’t mean you aren’t going to experience negative feelings. Hell, maybe you ended it because they cheated or lied to you, and you’re angry as hell! Now is the time to reflect and release. Do your best not to carry bitterness about your breakup into your next foray and give yourself time before jumping in to the next hookup. Here’s a wonderful quote from the Tao Te Ching: “New beginnings are often disguised as painful endings…”
What have I missed? Please share your additional tips for dealing with breakups in the comments below.
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