We are all familiar with dry spells in our sex lives when, for whatever reason, we have to abstain from person to person contact.
It’s often the case when we are between partners and haven’t found the right connection for casual sex. Maybe we are looking for a regular partner and haven’t found her, or maybe we’re dating but the chemistry isn’t there.
Other times, we are busy focusing on another aspect of life like caring for a parent or child, or working towards a promotion and don’t have time to date or sneak out for sex. We might have a prolonged illness, or be pining for a person who doesn’t want us, so meeting others is out of the question until we’ve moved past that point.
Sometimes we choose celibacy so that we can overcome a bad divorce or regenerate another part of our life, or because we are waiting for the right connection and it hasn’t happened yet.
There are unprecedented times of social upheaval or circumstances beyond our control when we literally can’t meet up with people.
It might be easy or tolerable to go without sex for a few days, weeks, months, even years during different periods of our lives. We might decide on abstinence for any number of reasons. But what about when you didn’t decide? When you were chatting with a hot T-girl and getting ready to meet, but then all the restaurants and bars closed and you were told you were only allowed to leave the house to walk the dog?
What if you are horny and don’t have a partner, but in-person contact has been outlawed for the foreseeable future?
How to Cope when You’re Horny at Home
You’re in this together, apart.
My transgender friend Tina has a long-distance relationship with a man in China, who comes to the US several times a year for work. She was shocked when his business trip was cancelled several months ago, and they have no idea when airlines will fly again or when they’ll be allowed to be together.
Millions of people dating online were suddenly not allowed to meet, or had nowhere to go.
Polyamorous people are suddenly caught off from their long-term relationships. And single people looking for sex have been cut off from potential hookups.
It’s painful to be separated from other humans, but keep some perspective and recognize that you’re not alone. Whatever the situation, there are other horny, lonely people who wish they were with lovers.
Don’t forget to masturbate.
Most horny people don’t need reminding that they can do it themselves. But if you are sick or depressed or feel isolated, you can lose sight of the fact that release and relief is at hand!
While jerking off doesn’t resolve the need for human contact, it does take the edge off of sexual tension and provides an outlet for it.
Try to relish the increased desire that comes from not getting any.
Forbidden love always makes longing more intense. Use your prolonged hunger to heighten your arousal and desire.
It’s easy to take for granted what’s common. Now that sex is rare or temporarily impossible, we can appreciate even more what it means and how important it is.
Use technology to keep connecting with your lovers.
Explore new ways to connect with current lovers or engage in a hands-off, phone-on or web-cam tryst with new dates.
If you’ve always been shy about sexting, or she’s been reluctant to strip for you on video, it can be even more exciting to try talking dirty, mutual masturbation, or exchanging dick pics!
Remember the situation is temporary, and enjoy the technologies that let you get naked together apart!
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