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Building Trust with New Trans Lovers

Couple Drinking Wine

Transgender truth is a peculiar paradox in humanity. There are aspects of trans reality that are unique to their experience, and I think no other category of people can claim to know or understand the experience of transgender folks.

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So, this is a miracle and a blessing to have their insight and personality as open and free in society as they want to be. Alternately, there are aspects of trans reality that are exactly the same as any other person on the planet—a truth that I think trans people want others to understand much deeper, but are busy engaging foolish people with issues like bathroom stalls or fighting in the army.

This discussion is meant to explore an aspect that remains intangible and nebulous, as it’s pure emotion and instinct based, and not something that can be quantified by physical measurements or social progress.

I wonder sometimes: does my trans lover trust me a little slower and more carefully, because their life experience might have more cautionary tales and risks involved (which I would be completely comfortable with.) Or is it possible there is an alternate emotional unfolding, where trust is sought out for faster connection because we found something special in each other, and they don’t feel like wasting time delaying when something is finally real.

Since this deals with trust, I don’t know if they can fully answer the question with black and white answers. There are some things they could share for sure, but I’m curious if they trust me less or more because I’m not trans, and I sincerely would be okay with any answer… and I wouldn’t expect the same answer from the next trans partner I’m with.

I’ve been with women who don’t trust me because I’m a man, and we have moved slowly. So, it’s okay. I don’t take it personally. Just curious!

Love’s funny,
Addi Stewart

Tell us what you think! 1 Comment

  1. Tony

    April 12, 2019 at 2:03 pm

    It’s very difficult to find trans friends. I have several places near my location but feel out of sorts when visiting; sometimes you get to talk to someone, but it feels like there is another agenda and can be very difficult to get trust. When there is a group, you can join in and have a laugh and hope someone likes you or catches your eye. I think we all need to chill a little and accept each other for who we are. It would be nice to have a meeting place that doesn’t include alcohol. Cheers!

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