The lights are down low, and Barry White’s honey tones are getting you and your partner in the mood. You lock eyes, and then one of you says, “Wanna try anal?”
Kidding aside (and I never kid about the power of Barry White), anal play isn’t just something you kind of, sort of, spontaneously bring up. For one thing, you need a good amount of knowledge before even trying it, and more than a bit of thought needs to go into picking just the right toy.
Even though we are going to get into a lot of things about anal play, use this as a jumping off point for even more research. Learning is never a bad thing, especially when it comes to anal.
Anal Sex Toy Tips for Beginners
Listen, Listen, Listen
Always keep in mind that the person whose anus is going to be used is the one running the show, so either let them do the driving or pay real close attention to what they are saying and doing. If they say to stop, pull out slowly, and whatever else they say—immediately do it because it’s their butt on the line.
Take Your Time
A crucial thing to remember about toys and the anus is that you’re not in a hurry. I can’t emphasize this enough. Even if the person on the receiving end is very experienced, take thing slowly.
The anus evolved to push things out, not take things in, so getting it to cooperate can sometimes take a bit of fiddling. Once again, you have all the time in the world. Besides, if you do push things too fast or too far, you could risk all kinds of damage to a rather fragile bit of human anatomy.
Lube It Up
Anal fans know this all too well: if you think you have enough lube, you don’t. Back to biology, the anus absorbs moisture so there’s a very real risk of running dry unless you keep that lube coming. But not just any lube—make sure the type you are using is designed for anal play, not just what you have lying around. The good news is that there are all kinds of anal lubes to try out.
Remember, do try out any new lube before using it with your toy. One thing you don’t want to have happen is an allergic reaction to something in the middle of everything.
Choose the Right Toy for the Right Job
Ask any ER doctor, and they’ll tell you story after story of having to remove some kind of foreign object from someone’s butt. So when you do stare lovingly into each other’s eyes, don’t just grab whatever from your nightstand. Only use well-designed toys that you are familiarized with.
This is extra true for other kinds of sex toys—even if you love that special dildo, unless it’s one that’s been carefully crafted to serve double duty then don’t use it! Simple as that.
If you haven’t done anal before, then it’s always a good idea to begin with a comfortable size. So even though that massive, vibrating, Bluetooth-enabled wonder of anal-sex technology looks damned sexy, it might be better to stick to the one that’s pinky sized. Until, that is, you get some experience under your anal belt.
Keep Things Clean
Before you do anything, keep your anal toys clean and well maintained. No one wants a nasty infection or worse, so get yourself a recommended cleaner—one that your partner isn’t allergic to—and make sure your toy is ready to use. This is also true of anything else getting close to the anus (if you’re getting ready with fingers, keep those gloves handy.)
This post provides a jumping-off point for getting, and enjoying, anal sex with a toy. As with so many things about sex, if you don’t know something—or feel nervous—take a breath and learn as much as you can before jumping in, then take things nice and slow and gentle… at least to begin with.
What anal toys or tips do you recommend?