Forever In Flux
I have been a sexual educator, porn actor, relationship journalist and overall sexy creature for about five years now officially (much longer unofficially… when did I lose my penile-meets-vaginal virginity again?) Still, I have been in constant beginner mode when it comes to understanding transgender sexuality.
First, I don’t need to “intellectually understand” someone to love, care, respect, learn from, or be attracted to them. There have been plenty of people who are of unknown gender identity that remain alluring and approachable in my eyes. I don’t need to KNOW what’s going on between someone’s thighs to get lost in the sparkly look in their eyes. But at some point, I may become curious to kiss or cuddle your entire body, and thus, I will possibly discover an invitation to your undergarment removal party!
But I am not attracted equally to everything and everyone. Nobody is. But everyone deserves respect and the attempt at understanding, right? So, that’s how we treat everyone, ncluding a trans person whose gender identity doesn’t align with your (and my) understanding of a non-cis male or non-cis female.
I heard a statement once that blew my mind and I’ll try to paraphrase it here: “there’s as many types of transgender identity possibilities as there are transgender people.” And that truth alone exploded my mind zone!
The amount of variables, the advancements in science and medicine, the ways of transforming or altering one’s visual and physical truth, the hormones, the surgeries, the new philosophies and new communities all emerging around the world, and the courage of transgender folks who are speaking out are keeping the international reality of trans sexuality ever-shifting, growing and changing. And that means that our understanding of it should always be doing the same!
In honest love,