Some things in the world are really like… porn. There are no replacements to the actual, genuine, legitimate, authentic moment of manifestation and creation. There’s nothing quite like it, and there’s nothing that can replace it. And honestly, there is nothing in the world like trans women experiences.
I have been fascinated by many sexual phenomena that were not my primary personal experience, and it’s been a beautiful journey in my life to explore being Black and Queer and being with women of different ethnicities and ideologies, both professionally in my sex work and personally in my private life.
It’s been very unique to walk this path with not many people as a guide or a precedent ahead of me. There are some teachers of course, and I’m NOT the first at all in damn near every capacity conceivable, but there are a few new things I am bringing to the table that I’m sure not quite everyone has dealt with or experienced.
I know that some of the trans women I’ve been with have not been with a queer black man, so that’s new for them as well. And for me, being present and being prepared to enjoy unprecedented pleasure is step one in being able to become confident with trans women sexually.
There will be moments of life where the anatomy of the body or the energy of the spirit are moving differently than the heteronormative experience that may have constituted the majority of your sexual relations thus far. But these moments where confidence is needed or created requires great humility and openness, gentle patience with yourself and with your partner, and a willingness to learn.
There are no two trans women who are exactly alike in my experience, and even though this cliché is broadly applicable to cis-het men and women, it’s really exponentially applicable when it comes to trans women.
To cultivate and expand one’s confidence with trans women, it is essential to be with them, at least once!
Hold that memory safe and sound in your heart! Don’t tell anyone about it for a while. Let the feeling sink like a seed into the soil of your soul. It will give you confidence to know you did it for yourself, not for bragging rights to tell anyone else. And of course, enjoy the experience to the fullest because there’s NO end to the amount of confidence you can create in your sex life!
Still looking for your first TS date? Read: 6 Tips for Meeting Trans Women