4 Things I’ve Learned from My Relationships with Trans Women

I thank my lucky stars that I’m doing what I love: connecting to people! I don’t care what kinda person you are, I care that you have the courage to share your truth with me!

I gain insights and understanding with every person and situation I experience in life, and that includes relationships with trans women. Sharing love with trans women and trans people has taught me many lessons, and that I can even reflect on such a journey is a blessing and a joy to my soul.

4 Lessons I’ve Learned from My Trans Love Life

1. Relationships Are always Evolving and Shifting

Trans connections require a high level of understanding and openness. Between me and my lover, there rarely has been super consistent stability and straight forward ease. I’ve been used to it my whole life from moving around and being an artist, but in my personal experience, there have been a lot of ups and downs on every level to navigate in a relationship with a trans woman. It’s not for the faint of faith.

Depending on where you live and what they had to endure from society, their day may be impacted greatly by a single incident and if they were on their way to see you, then welcome to witnessing the struggles of trans.

2. Advocacy Is Essential

It’s only right to defend their honor and their safety whenever they have to deal with some offensive garbage from society, so do that whenever you can.

If you’re not trans, like me, then you could just say and do nothing, like some white people who don’t do anything to stop racism or white privilege or white supremacy, but have no problem dancing to Beyoncé or going to a Jay-Z concert, or watching the latest Idris Elba movie.

Similarly, it’s “easy,” if not simply possible, to be in a relationship with a trans person and never really do anything to help trans people whenever you’re not around them. THIS SUCKS, SO DON’T BE THAT PERSON. Speak up for trans rights in any moment it makes sense to you, not just when you’re with a trans partner.

3. The Mind Can Open Wider than You Think

You will learn things about human anatomy that are vital lessons in this relationship, and they are not requirements to know in other relationships. I never knew about estrogen or testosterone injections, breast reductions, pre- and post-op designations or anything of the sort, before I met some trans people and started making love to them.

There are amazing things that a human body is capable of, and anyone in a relationship with a trans person will have to open their mind and their heart to comprehend humanity better. I have made love to an intersex person, and I still don’t completely know everything I want to know about them! My heart is more open than my mind, and my mind is wide open!

4. Sex Is an Ever-Expanding Human Experience

Sex has never been completely defined by science or medicine or religion, so keep an open mind, and an even more open heart and soul. This point is not really spoken about because science still tries to get away with the idea that it has defined everything and answered everything about life, which is FAR from the truth!

The human soul and body is an ever-unfolding mystery, and each person is a piece of the puzzle of evolution. I have had sexual experiences with trans people that I could never have even imagined before they happened, but I am oh so blessed to have had them. I didn’t close my mind, I just tried to connect bodies and hearts.

There was no need to judge or fear the possibility of what could happen if I had sex with someone who wasn’t a “woman” and also wasn’t a “man.” What would it mean? It meant I had fun! And learned more about human beings and love. But there’s so much more to learn, always.

Addi Stewart

Tell us what you think

Notify of
Inline Feedbacks
View all comments