Stories

How My Lover Explores Gender Identity

Transgender Woman

I have a very special lover I met a few years ago on Hanlan’s Point Beach. They have taught me some amazing things about gender and boundaries and the possibilities of identity.

She is really strong on breaking down the socialized concepts behind gender roles and who we are as “men” and “women” and what more we could be if we try and dream and explore ourselves. And this year, she spent most of November presenting as masculine, complete with a beard, suit and tie, and a packer if I’m not mistaken.

She took lots of pictures with full facial hair, while covering her breasts, as well as wearing baggy clothes to hide her voluptuous curves. So this was the month where she wasn’t she, she was he, and he was happy to do the damn thing she used to do for him most of the time, heh.

She has him inside her, inside him, and inside them. I love this friend and lover, and I cherish the lessons they teach me when they wear their suits and ties and outfits that totally neutralize their femininity and emphasize their masculinity. The University of North Carolina’s LGBTQ Center has a great resource page on exploring identities.

We should all be so brave and lucky to explore such possibility of identity for at least one month of the year. I’m not sure if they completely identify as transgender, but there’s no question they are expressing a transition of gender, and they are very serious about it. I love them for it, and hope they haven’t had a single bad experience.

What a great way to be a woman and participate in Movember, don’t you think? I certainly do. I love her/him!

And I love them,
Addi Stewart

Do you identify as transgender? Or something else? Please share in the comments!

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