Just the Tips

What Trans Women Want in Bed

Woman in Garters

Whether you are enjoying casual hookups with a variety of luscious t-girls, or getting hot and heavy with your lucky one and only, you might be wondering if you’re satisfying her every desire.

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Here are some things no dude should overlook when making sweet love.

Try a little tenderness.

Shower her with affection. Kiss her softly before a slow session, and hold her tight after a good spanking.

“Guys worry if the sex is casual, they’re supposed to hold back,” says Tabitha, 27. “But even if we are two ships passing in the night, human affection and simple tender touching amps up my desire and enhances my experience.”

Guys, listen up: many women seek sex in order to achieve that affection. That is what they want most from the connection, and they love sex because it delivers that to them. Without it, they’re not going to be satisfied.

Pay attention.

A woman wants to know that all her efforts at getting dressed, choosing lingerie, picking out a perfume, are hitting the mark. Those things are for you, you know, and the more you notice them, the hotter the sex will be.

Get kinky, please.

A little affection and attention can go a long way. But don’t worry that it’s all flower petals and foreplay that she wants.

If you’re meeting transgender women who are looking for casual encounters, or friends with benefits, chances are, it’s because she loves sex and wants lots of it.

“Look, I’ve had to be very creative and imaginative as a transgender person, open to a range of experiences of sex,” says Karly, 31. “For much of my life, I had to give and receive from a body that didn’t feel like mine. If I can think outside the box in order to get off, I want my partners to let loose too, and get creative and kinky. I want to experiment with all kinds of stuff, so let me into those fantasies of yours.”

 Prioritize safety and security.

Transgender women are extremely vulnerable, and they are at constant risk of assault, rape, violence, and murder. Men who can’t face their attraction to t-girls get volatile, parents or exes try to punish or erase trans family members, and social factors like poverty and addiction often place transgender women in danger.

They are understandably wary of a man’s intentions, and want to be safe and secure.

You can show trans women that you are not a threat by prioritizing her safety and hearing her concerns, by being open to meeting in public places of her choosing and your willingness to introduce her to others in your life, by standing up for or defending transgender women in situations when other men talk shit or worse, by helping her get home.

Be a gentleman, in other words. It might be old fashioned, but a little chivalry speaks volumes.

Experiment with a variety of positions and rhythms.

It’s usually not a particular thing that sets us off—it’s a variety of sensations, strokes, and positions.

Sure, we all have favorite moves or positions, but the surefire trick is to keep changing it up.

Maria, 21 says, “I love being penetrated slowly from behind, but after this slow dance, take it up a notch and keep entering and pulling out over and over. Get a bit rough and pull my hair and spread my legs wide, then slow down and tease me by barely touching me until I scream.”

“Experimenting with different strokes, sensations, and speeds within a sex session is much more important than a particular mechanical move,” says Joanne, 34.

Tell us what you think!

Tell us what you think!

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