Breaking up with a girlfriend is a terrible fact of life that happens to most people.
Getting over your transgender girlfriend can be tricky when you’re feeling various emotions like sorrow, guilt, betrayal, anger, and self-pity. Here’s how you can make the most of a tough situation.
Understand that the breakup is not as bad as waiting for it or the time before it happens.
You can start feeling relief along with all those other negative emotions because as bad as things are, the time after the breakup is not as awful as the time before.
Sure, you held out hope that you would both see eye to eye or resolve whatever irreconcilable differences you had. But that constant disappointment and upheaval when you know the break up is coming is much worse than the after phase when you get to put your life back together.
Don’t try to suppress or outwit grief and loss.
There’s no need to pretend you are unfazed, and no need to carry on drinking and sobbing for too long either. Give both extremes their due as your feelings fluctuate, but determine to be honest about your emotions soon so that you have the best chance of finding healthy ways to cope.
Don’t keep staring at her photo or playing her favorite songs.
You can keep a few mementos and pictures, but put them away right now. Memories of our best and worst times are an important part of life and love, but torturing yourself while the wounds are fresh is not helpful.
Don’t take it out on your ex-girlfriend.
Some guys get into trouble by not taking no for an answer. If she broke it off with you, and you already did your due diligence with a genuine apology or an attempt to make it right back when it was appropriate, do not stalk, pester, whine, beg, or harass her.
Do not find ways to punish her for your bad feelings. She may be feeling hurt and loss of her own, and you don’t treat someone you cared about like dirt, even if you’re upset.
Don’t use other T-girls just because you want your ego restored.
Sex can help numb the loss with distraction and give a boost to your ego, and meeting someone new and sexy is always great. Just make sure you are honest and tell your dates that you’re keeping things casual or just hooking up, and that it’s too soon to enter into anything more serious right now.
Focus on feeling good and staying busy.
The best way to get over a girl is not to try to replace her or the sex right off the bat, but to focus on the things you didn’t have time for or got distracted from. Call up your mother, then show up with a bottle of wine. Take that trip to Cuba with your brother that you’ve both wanted since college but never got around to.
You can’t fill the void with replacement, but you can build the parts of your life that got neglected while you were focusing on her. Eventually you’ll realize you feel better and healthy and ready to get to know other women. It won’t be as long as it feels right now.