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How to Enjoy Transgender Sex without Penetration

Couple Kissing in Bed

Creativity and erotic experimentation make sex great for you and your transgender lovers.

If you’re hooking up with a transgender woman or embarking on a long-term relationship, you’ll want to be flexible when it comes to sex. The mechanics of making love may mean exploring non-penetrative sex.

Here’s what you need to know.

How to Enjoy Sex without Penetration

Some transgender women want penetrative sex, as either top or bottom.

Not all transexuals avoid penetration. If she has had sexual reassignment surgery, her vagina may function the same as a cis vagina and if she wants to use it that way, great!

But a new vagina can be very painful, or feel better used in other ways. With or without a vagina, she may enjoy receiving anal sex instead. And some transgender women who have penises enjoy using her dick to penetrate you. Leave it up to her—her cock might not function that way because of hormone treatment, and many trans women don’t want to use their penis in a way that feels masculine to them.

Taking penis-in-vagina sex out of the equation opens a whole world of erotic play.

Rediscover the thrill of simple, heady pleasures like making out, slow dancing, and groping in the car. Enjoy giving and receiving oral sex and hand sex.

Sensual massage, role play, sensation play, dress up, striptease, mutual masturbation, anal play, breast and nipple massage or torture, and every kind of kink imaginable from orgasm denial to Japanese bondage—discover together where the limits of your fantasies will take you!

Follow her lead.

Don’t worry too much about the how and the what. That will be different with each trans lover anyhow. Focus on letting her show you how her body works and on being open to experiment and play.

Be selfish when she wants you to be.

You already know that the best sex is always about the woman. Putting her first is the key to great sex no matter who you are with or what you’re doing. And sometimes that means taking center stage.

Your date’s body may be in a state of transition, or she might not be comfortable with “everything.” She might be in pain or getting used to old or new body parts. So there may be times she doesn’t want to be the center of attention, but still craves touching, intimacy, and sexual contact.

If she says she wants to spoil you, accept it!

Enjoy being the focus when that’s what she wants to do.

Don’t be afraid of her penis.

You jack off to hot porn of chicks with dicks, dream of getting pegged by a busty blonde. But if you’re new to fulfilling your fantasies in real life, you might have some anxieties about what to do with a t-girl’s candy. You might be reluctant to do anything, in case you do it wrong. Maybe you simply don’t know what to expect or how to please her.

Every single transgender partner you have will be different, so even experience itself isn’t the insurance you need. Stop worrying, and enjoy the excitement. Be up front about your desire to prioritize her pleasure and touch her in a way that feels good.

Her cock will likely be different from yours. If she is taking hormone therapy, it will be softer, smaller, and sensitive in ways unique to her. So don’t go with what works for you—+get to know her dick on her terms. Ask her to show you what feels good. Be open to experimenting with your fingers, tongue, and cock, and don’t be afraid to ask her what feels right for her and what doesn’t.

What’s your favorite form of non-penetrative sex? Please share in the comments.

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