If you’re a trans admirer, someone who dates, has sex with and loves transgender women, you might have some questions about how to please her.
There is no one answer that works for everyone across the board, but these handy tips can help you navigate sexual intimacy to make sure your t-girl gets the most out of your encounters.
Talk to Her
As with cis women—and men, for that matter—no two trans women are alike, and what one wants and doesn’t want says nothing about the likes and dislikes of another woman.
To further complicate sex, it’s often true that what we enjoy with one partner doesn’t work with the next, even if he or she is using the exact same techniques! Alternately, something that did nothing for us before might drive us wild with another person.
The only way to resolve this is to be really open about communicating with her—talking AND listening.
With trans women, it’s not just about mechanics and preferences. Because a body in transition might be unfamiliar to her owner, how and where she wants to be touched might change constantly. Be open about the medical and hormonal realities she’s going through, and show her that you’re ready to talk about anything she needs to.
If your trans girlfriend has a brand new vagina, she has to dilate it several times a day and it’s painful. She may not be able to have intercourse yet.
This can be challenging when you so desperately want to make love to her. You’ll need to use your imagination— together with hers—to experiment.
Many transgender women are very giving and generous, so they enjoy performing elaborate oral sex rituals on you. If that’s something she loves, experience it! I understand that YOU want to please HER, but you need to see how important your pleasure can be to her pleasure, especially if she’s not able to receive you with her genitals.
Take the focus away from her vagina or cock and really explore breast and nipple play. Cis women enjoy our breasts so much, but many trans women enjoy them even more! The symbolic meaning of growing breasts can be profound for transexuals and lavishing erotic attention here can be very satisfying to her.
Be Open to Dick Love, as well as Willing to Leave It Out
If she has a cock, it may or may not “work” due to estrogen and other hormones she’s taking. You may have fantasies of getting fucked by your smoking hot girlfriend, but that doesn’t mean that’s on the menu.
On the other hand, many transgender women do enjoy penis play, even if her cock won’t cooperate or get fully hard for fucking. It may feel wonderful to touch or respond to oral. Ask her and show you’re willing to go with whatever she needs.
Some trans women don’t want any penis touching at all. Respect that too. It can be traumatic to experience the penis, because it feels unreal or disconnected from her true identity.
His and Hers Anal
Penetration can be important to couples. If that’s what she needs, you’ll have to go with the orifice that’s available, if she doesn’t have a vagina or it’s not ready.
Transgender women who love being fucked have often centred their experiences on anal, whether for lack of the alternative or because it’s so rich in nerve endings.
Don’t limit anal play to her only! If she wants to explore your asshole, enjoy the wide range of sensations she has in store for you.